What’s in a Name?

The most identifying word any person has is her name. Names are important to our sense of self. Names are linked to identities, and identities to self-worth. Our names are gifted to us by our parents (sometimes reinvented by ourselves or others). Names are who we are and who we wish to be recognized as. 
 
Because a name is so personal, there’s a lot of power in using it, and how we use it makes a difference. We’ve all heard someone say that, when they were a child, if their parent used their full name (first, middle, last), they knew they were in trouble! When using a person’s name in conversation, we can also send a gentler message. Including their name subtly says, “You are an important individual to me.” Using that personal label in a coaching conversation can say, “I care about you and your work.” This summer, you may not have coaching conversations, but you can notice in other situations the power of using a name.
 
I’ve noticed that when we use a name while coaching makes a difference in the emotion that is stirred and the way our comments are received. The simple difference of where we place a person’s name in a sentence (written or spoken) changes the emotional impact.
 
Placing a name at the beginning of a sentence feels like a call for the person’s attention. It has undertones of demand (“Vicki, I’m wondering if you’ve thought about……”). If we embed the name in the sentence, or end the sentence with their name, there’s a certain softness to it. (I’m wondering, Vicki, if you’ve thought about….) It feels different, somehow, like we are connecting with that individual at a personal level. The placement of the name can shift the tone: from, “I’m getting your attention,” to “I am noticing and naming you as a person.”
 
If you’re thinking I’m getting pretty picky here – well, I am.  Words matter. A lot. They are the primary tool of the coach, so it behooves us to use them well. Nuances of use make a difference. A name is a personal thing. Let’s be thoughtful about how we use it.
 
This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
Summer self-care for teachers:
 
https://www.teachingchannel.com/blog/summer-self-care
 
 
The case for coaches in professional learning communities:
 
https://www.allthingsplc.info/blog/view/362/the-case-for-coaches-in-professional-learning-communities
 
Helping teachers work smarter together:
 
https://ccira.blog/2018/02/13/how-to-help-teachers-work-smarter-together/
 
Music and mindfulness for stress reduction:
 
https://drumhelper.com/blog/music-and-mindfulness-for-stress-reduction/
 
Effective teacher-to-teacher communication:
 
https://www.thoughtco.com/the-importance-of-effective-teacher-to-teacher-communication-3194691
 
That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!
 
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