My Coaches' Couch: Gentle Nudge

We may lack confidence, courage, or motivation to try new things of which we are capable, but a nudge can get us moving in the right direction. Recommendations work best when they feel like a gentle nudge rather than an edict.

Language plays a huge role in coaching, and how that language is received makes the difference in coaching’s effectiveness. Hayakawa, in his book, Language in Thought and Action, said, “To be concerned with the relation between words and what they stand for in the hearer’s thoughts and emotions is to approach the study of language as both an intellectual and a moral discipline.” Effective coaching benefits from a careful study of language. The how of a recommendation is just as important as the what. A gentle nudge is an invitation, a tender prod forward. Pushing, on the other hand, usually doesn’t work. To push is to “press against with force.” That doesn’t sound very nice, does it? When someone pushes against me with force, I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to push back. It seems like the natural way to keep my equilibrium. If I don’t offer some resistance, I might topple over from the force.

But a nudge allows me to keep my footing. I’m not going to fall, I’m just going to move forward. To nudge is to touch gently or urge into action. A nudge is a recommendation loaded with assurance. Pete Carroll said, “Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” He was talking about football, but instructional coaches can similarly unlock power. A coach might:

· Urge teachers to work together on a problem of practice.

· Suggest a book that could offer insight.

· Encourage a teacher to present at a staff meeting.

· Ask a teacher to let peers observe in her classroom.

· Offer leadership opportunities to others.

· Inspire teachers to try new approaches.

· Reassure an unconfident teacher that she can manage the new technology.

A nudge is likely to be received gracefully and with appreciation. A pushy recommendation is likely to be met with pushback rather than change. Take a moment and reflect on who might need a nudge to take that next positive step – something you know they are capable of doing, but they may not. Being a pusher can be tiresome and unproductive, but being a nudger – well, that’s something to aspire to!

The difference between nudging and pushing is a matter of language. Our ways with words make a big difference in how a recommendation is received. And one of teachers’ most valued words is their name.

This week, you might want to take a look at:

Empathy statements for responding to difficult teacher comments:

https://barkleypd.com/blog/how-might-a-coach-respond/

This podcast about using songs to teach:

https://www.teachingchannel.com/podcast

Videos from published authors about peer feedback:

https://www.authortoauthor.org/peer-conferring-videos/

Tips for transitioning from teacher to coach:

https://www.teachingchannel.com/blog/transition-teacher-coach

Using shared writing in middle school:

https://choiceliteracy.com/article/using-shared-writing-to-build-argument-skills/

That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!