What’s Your Love Language?

Through my work with student teachers, I learn important things about coaching. At my institution, we call cooperating teachers “mentors,” but I see it as a coaching role. We are nearing the end of a semester, so I am interviewing student teachers (we call them “interns”), because I am always trying to learn from the year, always trying to improve.
 
This week, I interviewed Christy, a creative, fun-loving fourth-grade intern. The first part of her year-long internship was in kindergarten, and it immediately felt like home. Although she eventually came to love it, teaching in fourth grade was a challenge at first – she wasn’t sure how to relate to these big kids, and the content scared her a bit. Compounding that was the fact that she felt she and her mentor were a mismatch. She said they were so different in their thought-processes and personality types. Her mentor was a linear thinking. She was not. So, even though they were both trying really hard, in the beginning, they just didn’t mesh.
 
Thankfully, they eventually came to understand one another’s needs. Christy knew her mentor needed detailed lesson plans turned in early. And, after an especially rocky interaction, Christy shared what she really needed from her mentor: Ongoing words of affirmation.
 
“Affirmation is my love language,” Christy told me. “I’m a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me!”  Christy shared these truths about herself with her mentor. The next day, after Christy taught a lesson that went well, she came back after recess to find a sticky note on her desk. “That was awesome. YOU are awesome,” it said. Even though that was months ago, Christy still has that sticky note. It meant so much to her! And it was a turning point in the mentoring relationship.
 
Affirming is an important coaching move. It’s one of the final phases of the GIR model not because we don’t use it sooner, but because the other moves drop away, making affirming the dominant coaching move. Many mentors tell me they affirm all along the way. Christy’s story reminds us that some teachers need affirmation more than others. Her mentor had a different intern earlier in the year, who had a great experience. And once Christy’s mentor knew her “love language,” she had a great experience, too.
 
You’ve probably heard about love languages. The authors, Gary Chapman and Paul White, have adapted these for the workplace, calling them “languages of appreciation.” Number one is words of affirmation. They explain that, for many people, what others think of them is very important. And everyone could use a good word from time to time.
 
Affirmation can come in personal, one-on-one conversations or in front of others. It can be written down or said out loud. We can affirm an effort, an accomplishment, or a character trait. The important thing is that the affirmation is sincere. From Christy’s experience, I learned that, for those whose language of appreciation is affirmation, it also needs to be frequent.  
 
Thankfully, Christy and her mentor eventually found the cadence of coaching conversation that was right for them. If you are using the GIR Coaching Model to guide your interactions with teachers, think about the role that affirmation, and other languages of appreciation, play for the individual teachers you are working with. Being generous with authentic affirmations shows appreciation and can energize a coaching relationship.
 
This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
This podcast on the power of choice:
 
https://www.speedofcreativity.org/2021/03/16/podcast476-the-power-of-choice-by-claude-larson/
 
Ideas for showcasing coaching work:
 
https://blog.teachboost.com/showcasing-the-impact-of-instructional-coaching
 
 
Effective Use of Questions as a Teaching Tool:
 
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3776909/
 
 
How to cultivate effective peer response to writing:
 
https://you.stonybrook.edu/eglblog/2017/03/22/how-to-promote-effective-peer-response/
 
 
Building coaching relationships through love, humility, and trust:
 
https://instructionalcoaching.com/article-dialogue-trust/
 
That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!
 
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Have I Told You Lately?

This week, I got a cryptic text from my adult daughter. No context, just a question: What does the research say about praise?
 
I was in the middle of a busy day, so I didn’t stop to ask questions. I just sent an equally quick response: Praise effort more than talent. Be specific.
 
A couple of days later, I shared this same advice with coaches and asked for examples of praise that was specific or effort-focused. Two coaches were quick to jump in and share wonderful things about teachers they are working with.
 
One said, “Peter is so good at listening to students. He always puts them first. It makes his instruction so much stronger. When students are working, he is having conversations with them, one-on-one, that start by acknowledging where they are and then push them forward.”
 
Another coach described the amazing STEM lesson a teacher had just taught, where students worked effectively in small groups to solve a problem in a scenario connected with their unit on immigration. Students got their hands on materials and worked collaboratively. Because of the pandemic, we haven’t been doing anything like that this year. But restrictions eased about a week ago. The coach described how pleased she was that this teacher took the risk, in April, to diverge from year-long routines. The lesson, she said, was a great success.
 
If was clear the coaches recognized the value of what these two teachers were doing. They sang their praises to our group of coaching colleagues. But my next question cut them short. “Have you told them?”
 
Although both coaches recognized the teachers’ strengths, they had not taken the time to say so. Maybe because some coaching models discourage use of praise. Maybe because they are so focused on improvement that they are looking for things to change rather than things to applaud.
 
Because my research with the GIR model clearly identifies affirmation and praise as effective coaching moves, I confidently encouraged these coaches to think about specific, focused praise they could offer. We took a few minutes to get this specific praise down in writing on the GIR Conferencing Plan (see below). Because if we don’t plan for it, it may not happen. And praise it too important. We can’t let the opportunity slide.
 
During this coaching session, I had the song, “Have I Told You Lately,” rolling through my head. (My dad was a country-western singer, so it was the Hank Williams version rather than the Rod Stewart one you may now be humming!). Even though coaching may not be about love, the song’s reminder is relevant. Ask yourself: Have I told teachers lately about the good things they are doing? If not, maybe its time to do so. In the words of Hank Williams, “Well, darling, I’m telling you now!”

 
This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
This short video about using stories in the classroom:
 
https://studysites.corwin.com/highimpactinstruction/videos/v7.3.htm
 
 
PLC Conversations that increase collective responsibility:
 
https://barkleypd.com/blog/creating-plc-converstions-that-increase-collective-responsibility/
 
Characteristics of a good mentor:
 
http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/may99/vol56/num08/The-Good-Mentor.aspx
 
This podcast about best hybrid teaching practices (are there some things you’ll hang onto for the future?)
 
https://www.teachingchannel.com/blog/podcast-34
 
 
Excellence is a habit:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/the-big-fresh-november-30-20135-2-1-0/
 
That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!
 
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Why Increase Teachers’ Responsibility

Week after week, I’ve been writing here about the Gradual Increase of Responsibility Model for coaching. Recently, I was asked to provide an explanation for why I would want to increase teachers’ responsibility. Don’t teachers already have enough responsibility? After all, they are already responsible for lunch counts, permission slips, and attendance; completing required administrative documentation; collecting fundraising envelopes and picture money; and being on bus, recess, or hall duty. This year, teachers have also been responsible for making sure students wear masks and stay spaced. They’ve been responsible for wiping down high-touch surfaces or managing new technology. And the list goes on. Don’t teachers already have plenty of responsibility?
 
My answer is a resounding, “yes,” and perhaps some of those things could be taken off their plates. Yet, I continue to advocate for increasing teachers’ responsibility in the important and job-appropriate practice of instructional decision making, because that responsibility is life-giving. Using their brains to think about how to best support students’ learning is empowering and creates energy for teachers. It’s probably the reason they entered the profession in the first place. Giving teachers more of this kind of responsibility allows them to exercise their agency, using all they know about content, pedagogy, and their students.
 
Coaching with the Gradual Increase of Responsibility Model increases teachers’ role in their own professional learning. Like the Gradual Release of Responsibility Model for teaching reading comprehension, which was the conceptual guide for the model’s development, the GIR Coaching Model suggests differing levels of support and increasing responsibility for teacher-as-learner. The Model is a coaching guide for choosing the right level of support for instructional decision-making – support that guides, challenges, or affirms to ensure that teachers are empowered and students consistently experience effective instruction. Teachers’ agency is honored and their efficacy increases as they design and witness improved instruction.
 
The teachers I’ve been working with this year have been stripped of much of their professional agency. I understand why: the district felt a tightly-scripted curriculum would allow easier pivots between in-person and remote learning. Yet this move has been energy-draining for teachers. Thankfully, as the pandemic eases, these teachers are being given more flexibility. This week, as we worked to plan lessons from scratch, I saw energy and joy flowing during their work. The first-grade team got excited about bringing in baby plants for students to match to photos of their grown-up counterparts; the third-grade team can’t wait to see how their students handle the boat-building STEM challenge they are linking to their immigration unit; the fourth-grade team will have their students act out the Greek myths they’ve been reading about. As we planned, teachers kept using the word “excited” – they can’t wait to teach these lessons. One teacher said, “This is going to be my favorite lesson all year!” The energy in the room was palpable, and the joy teachers felt as they considered their students’ needs and their own instructional repertoires was evident in their smiles and laughter. Yes, there was lots of laughter during these lesson-planning sessions!
 
Increasing responsibility by giving teachers the chance to do more of what they love about teaching is powerful!  Increasing their instructional agency acknowledges teachers’ professionalism. It recognizes their role as agents for change. The GIR model is a pathway that enables continual growth of the knowledge, interpersonal resources, and motivation required to improve teaching and learning. Teachers drive instructional improvement as they determine new ideas and methods to incorporate into their teaching.
So, should we be asking less or more of teachers?  My answer will always be that we should require less of what does not require teachers’ professionalism, and more of what does.

This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
Compassion, connection, curiosity, and care as leadership characteristics:
 
http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/dec20/vol78/num04/Meena-Srinivasan-on-Mindful-School-Leadership.aspx
 
 
What goes into a culturally-sustaining classroom:
 
https://ncte.org/blog/2018/08/first-day-actions-for-a-culturally-sustaining-classroom-environment/
 
 
Publishing parties for authentic writing purpose:
 
http://wonderteacher.com/8-tips-for-a-great-publishing-party/
 
 
What coaches need to flourish:
 
https://blog.teachboost.com/three-psychological-needs-of-an-ic
 
 
LOTS and HOTS: a taxonomy of digital learning:
 
https://www.teachthought.com/critical-thinking/blooms-digital-taxonomy-verbs-21st-century-students/
 
That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!
 
Was this helpful?  Please share!
Want to know about new posts? Click “Follow” (bottom right)
Follow on Facebook at: facebook.com/mycoachescouch or Twitter @vscollet for more coaching and teaching tips!  You can also find me at VickiCollet.com