Avoid “You Should”-ing

The small and simple words used during coaching impact a teachers’ sense of self as a knowledgeable professional. When making a recommendation, choosing words that have a kinder, gentler feel can make a big difference in how the suggestion is taken up. When I say, “I’m wondering how a Venn diagram would work in this lesson,” it is an invitation for the teacher I’m working with to consider this tool. “You should use a Venn diagram instead of that chart,” would not be received nearly so well. 
 
In a coaching conversation, you’ll want to avoid evaluative words like “good” and “bad” and harsh modal verbs like “should” and “must.” “Might” and “may,” their kinder cousins, are better received, and show that our views are tentative and awaiting consideration. “You should make sure everyone is listening before you begin,” sounds like a command. Saying, “Something that has worked for me is using a focus signal before giving instruction,” feels like there is an idea being offered. Providing a menu of options is another way to avoid “you should-ing.”
 
Saying, “Some things you might want to consider…..” offers the teacher agency to think through what was offered. By providing multiple suggestions, we increase choice.
 
Offering choice develops feelings of power and efficacy. These are important aspects to consider if our coaching seeks to gradually increase teachers’ responsibility. Being asked to make a decision rather than being told what to do is an encouraging approach that exhibits trust in the teacher’s ability.
 
Another benefit of offering choice is that it usually increases motivation. For example, when a teacher chooses among options presented for enhancing class discussion, she is more vested in making her self-selected option work.
 
It’s also helpful to include your own conjectures and curiosities about possible instructional choices. Beginning with the words, “I wonder” or “What if…” demonstrates your openness and interest.
 
“What if students generated their own questions before reading?”
 
“What if Marisol was in a group with other emerging bilinguals?”
 
Making recommendations can be an effective coaching move, especially when the teacher is looking for guidance. By avoiding evaluative words, offering choice, and approaching the conversation with curiosity, coaches increase the likelihood that their suggestions will be well received and impact student learning.
 
This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
Summer professional growth ideas for instructional coaches:
 
https://simplycoachingandteaching.com/blog/2021/06/16/summer-professional-development/
 
Build trust with teachers through clear expectations:
 
https://barkleypd.com/blog/building-trust-with-expectations/
 
Using the 3-2-1 learning strategy for critical thinking:
 
http://bity.ly/3vSA0cl
 
Responding to touch emails from families:
 
http://www.teachingchannel.com/blog/emailing-families
 
 
Coaching teachers’ mindsets:
 
http://www.ascd.org/ascd-express/vol16/num10/mindset-coaching-for-mental-health.aspx
 
That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!
 
Was this helpful?  Please share!
Want to know about new posts? Click “Follow” (bottom right)
Follow on Facebook at: facebook.com/mycoachescouch or Twitter @vscollet for more coaching and teaching tips!  You can also find me at VickiCollet.com