coaching conversation drive its outcomes.
Have Positive Assumptions
Psychologist Carl Rogers advocated a person-centered approach that is relevant to coaching. He acknowledged the continually-changing world of individual experience and based his life’s work on a belief in the potential for growth within this whirl of change. Rogers believed in an innate human desire to grow toward our own best selves, like a plant growing toward the light. Do you share Roger’s belief, centering your conversations in positive assumptions about a teacher’s desire to do and be her best?
In a positive coaching relationship, the coach’s regard for the teacher is unconditional. Regardless of what the teacher might say or do in a particular situation, the effective coach has positive assumptions about a teacher’s intent. The teacher gets respect no matter her behavior, simply on account of their relationship and their shared humanity.
Show Empathy
An effective coach’s mindset also includes empathy. She demonstrates empathy for a teacher’s current experience. Only the teacher knows what she is going through. One of Roger’s basic tenets is that the best vantage point for understanding behavior is from the internal frame of reference of the individual. People are their own best experts. They know themselves better than others can. We can’t change or wish away a person’s experience, but we can listen and acknowledge. Only when we understand the why’s of current choices can we support growth to a better place. Like the potted plant that needs a quarter turn to reach toward the light, we can guide a change that will lean a teacher in a positive direction if we acknowledge where they currently are from their own perspective.
That’s because, according to Rogers, people behave in ways consistent with their concept of self. Behaviors not consistent with self-concept are not “owned” by the individual. A teacher may outwardly comply, but a change is unlikely to stick if it’s inconsistent with her perceptions. So positive change starts with recognizing current realities. Changes happen when they can be assimilated into a teacher’s current concept of self.
The opposite happens when there is what Rogers calls “perceived threat.” When a person feels coerced or intimidated, this often results in rigid attempts to maintain self. When threat is low, people are more likely to perceive and examine experiences and revise their self-perceptions in ways consistent with the new experiences. They are more likely to change.
Be Authentic
Another
coaching “mindset” is to bring your real self to a conversation. This one can be tricky, because it involves
vulnerability. I want to be authentic,
so I share how I’m learning and growing.
But I also want teachers to feel that I won’t steer them wrong (and I do
make
recommendations), so they need to trust my competence. This is a tricky walk, but in the end, I find
that if I’m sincere, we have positive, productive interactions. I can sincerely share my own struggles and I
can also sincerely share what I’ve learned along the way. I can’t be pretentious. I have to be show up as me.
Sincerity can’t be bluffed; insincerity is easily perceived and unveiled. Even little children recognize a phony, and teachers will, too. So how do you really and truly center yourself in positive assumptions and empathize with teachers in their current place?
I recently caught myself making negative assumptions when one of my college students (I’ll call her Angie) didn’t turn on her camera during remote teaching. I had thoughts that she was stubborn or that she was hiding a lack of full participation. When I listened with empathy, however, I learned that she is a non-traditional student with a full-time job as a caregiver. Our hybrid class (students could choose whether to be face-to-face or remote) gave her the chance to take a course. She kept the video off to protect her elderly client. As I connected with her on a more personal level, my admiration for her showed in our conversations. Angie did, eventually, find opportunities to share her screen and we developed a relationship that was beneficial for teaching and learning. Although this wasn’t a coaching situation, it demonstrates Roger’s principles of a person-centered approach. I was glad I scrutinized my negative assumptions so that we could move toward positive change.
Change is a mind game. If shifts in practice are not accompanied by shifts in attitudes, they aren’t likely to stick. That can mean wasted effort for a teacher and coach and negative outcomes for students. Developing a coaching “way of being” that includes positive regard, empathy, and authentic interaction can help teachers lean in to change that is likely to last.
This week, you might want to take a look at:
Five-minute Coronavirus stress resets (I like #1 & #3):
Using students’ expertise to support each other:
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/expert-students/
Valuing read alouds during remote learning:
Teacher relationships and expectations at the beginning of the 2020-21 school year:
https://barkleypd.com/blog/relationships-and-expectations-keys-to-increasing-student-success/
This story-in-a-bag idea sounds fun and helpful (f2f or remote):
https://www.middleweb.com/43403/staging-story-in-a-bag-in-your-room-or-online/
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
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