Recently
I had a difficult conversation with a student teacher, and there are a few
lessons I learned that could be useful in other coaching situations and in
life. In my recent situation, the student teacher hadn’t yet developed some
important proficiencies. I knew it and she knew it. And talking about it – and our
plan for moving forward – wasn’t easy. I found that I was constantly doing a
temperature check. Is the conversation productive? Are we both listening? Are
we open? Are we thinking together? The
climate felt much more comfortable when I acknowledged the situation, saying, “This
is a hard conversation.” Those words instantly deflated the tension. Her
shoulders dropped and she was more ready to both talk and listen.
In
today’s schools, there are many potential high-pressure situations: discussion
of test scores, implementation of new curricula, evaluations and merit pay can
all escalate emotional temperatures, and these topics sometimes factor into
coaching conversations. When a coaching conversation gets tough, it can help to
stop and say so. Pressure is released like letting the air out of tire. You can
feel and see the difference.
Another
fix-up move when a conversation gets hard is the simple question, “How are you
feeling?” The question can serve as a temperature check for both of you. And
the process of asking and answering is usually a pressure-releaser.
During
tough conversations, keep checking the temperature. Acknowledging and asking
about your colleague’s feelings can diffuse a difficult situation.
This week, you might want to
take a look at:
End-of-Year
Read-Aloud suggestions on Facebook:
The
power of “not yet”: A TedTalk with Carol Dweck:
Challenging
the five-finger rule for picking just-right books:
A blog
post about being a critical friend:
5 tech
tools that support PD (scan to find the tools you’re most interested in reading
about):
That’s it for this week. Happy
Coaching!
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