Patience: A Mindset for Coaching

“Patience is a virtue” – we’ve heard that often enough, but why is it an important mindset for coaching?
 
The value of patience came to mind this week when I observed a teacher’s class for the first time. Although I’d known Karen for over a year, this was my first real interaction with her in a coaching role. I’d been told by her coach from last year that it was hard to get in to observe – that something always seemed to come up at the last minute, and that the coach didn’t feel like she’d really gotten anywhere with Karen.
 
Knowing how important trust is, I was intentional about these first steps: I emailed saying that it would be helpful for me to get to know her students and her context better. Could I come and observe part of a class? I gave a specific date that I was going to be in the building and asked if there was a time that day that would work. She initially responded with a quick, “Sure!”  - but she followed up with an email about times that she would rather I didn’t come; she said those two were rather rowdy classes. Even though I thought to myself that those classes might be where I could be the most help, I responded with a different time that I could stop by. Patience.
 
I assured Karen that I didn’t want to interrupt her teaching. She could give any intro to her students that she felt was needed – or not. I said I’d try to slip quietly in and have a seat after class was underway.
 
As I thought about the observation, I determined that I wouldn’t stay too long. I thought 20 minutes was about how long she could endure my presence without getting too stressed out. I wouldn’t stay any longer than that, and maybe shorter. I’d just observe long enough to get something positive that I could write on a sticky note and leave on her desk. Although it would have been convenient to stay and have a post-observation conversation with her, because I was already there and her prep-period was shortly after the time I planned to observe, I decided against it. I didn’t want to introduce any opportunity for her to be intimidated. All positives. Patience.
 
When I arrived, I found that the class Karen had preferred I observe was very small, and some of the students had been pulled for special services. Well, it should likely be easy to find something for my sticky note! It didn’t take long before I knew what I could share, but I decided to stay a bit longer. By the 20-minute mark, I had written 4 positives on the sticky note, which I left behind.
 
Later that day, I emailed to thank Karen for letting me observe. I told her I had been so intrigued by the short story they were discussing, I went home and Googled it, found a copy, and cried while I read it. I asked about her students’ emotional response. I didn’t recommend that she ask questions to help students connect the story to their personal experiences. I didn’t  even ask why the lesson was so focused on filling in the workbook pages, or what the principal’s expectations were regarding her use of that resource. Patience.
 
There will be times for me to stay longer, times for careful note-taking during observations, times for debriefs, and times for recommendations and questions. But this week was the time for patience. The longer I’ve coached, the more I’ve recognized the value of a soft touch and a welcoming tone; the more I’ve realized that I gain more trust by waiting than by impressive intelligence or assertive authority.
 
When I enter Karen’s class the next time, I’ll still close the door quietly and make sure to tread lightly across her room before I slide into a seat. I’ll stay a bit longer and pull out a small notebook instead of just a sticky note. I’ll make sure we can have a brief chat afterward and ask her about a successful moment that stood out from the lesson. As trust is built, I’ll slowly accelerate toward the productive conversations I hope will be commonplace throughout the year.
 
This week, you might want to take a look at:

This video about creating a comfortable classroom environment:
 
https://www.teachingchannel.com/free-videos/
 
 
Picture books for start-of-school community-building:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/what-i-am-reading-the-first-week-of-school/
 
 
Bringing empathy to coaching:
 
https://www.schoolstatus.com/blog/bringing-empathy-to-coaching
 
 
“Naughty” behaviors that are developmentally appropriate:
 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/joyful-parenting/201705/not-naughty-10-ways-kids-appear-be-acting-bad-arent
 
 
Short writing assignments to help students become better thinkers (in all disciplines):
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/power-short-writing-assignments
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: SEP2024 for 20% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!
---------------------------------
Was this helpful?  Please share!
Want to know about new posts? Click “Follow” (bottom right)
Follow on Instagram @Vicki_Collet_Educator, on Facebook at: facebook.com/mycoachescouch and Twitter @vscollet for more coaching and teaching tips!  You can also find me at VickiCollet.com.