Two Powerful Words for Coaching Conversations

What if two little words could lower defensiveness, increase cognitive flexibility, support experimentation, strengthen collaboration, and position teachers as thinkers? In coaching conversations, the words, “What if?” can do just that. I’ve noticed how these simple words spark conversations that inspire growth. “What if?” can frame an idea as a topic for exploration rather than a directive. It proposes possibilities that can stretch thinking in productive ways.
 
Offering Invitations
Asking, “What if?” increases openness. Instead of feeling defensive because a recommendation is offered, a teacher who hears, “What if?” feels an entry point. “What if” sounds exploratory, helping the conversation unfold. We share ideas in ways that communicate respect, honoring the expertise of the teacher in front of us.
 
After a conversation with Angela’s team about the research on class behavior charts (problems with the “clip up,” “clip down” system), she lingered; she was concerned about the behavior chart that had been in her classroom for years.
 
“What should I be doing?” she asked. She expressed frustration about the lack of PD on classroom management.
 
I commiserated and added, “There are some kids, like we said, who need something more tangible along with having appropriate expectations modeled and taught.”
 
“The thing is,” Angela countered, “I really only end up using the behavior chart for a few kids. Most kids just stay on green.”
 
This was where a “What if” could get traction. “What if you got rid of the behavior chart and put a more private practice in place for those few students who needed it? Could that work? What might that look and sound like?” What if’s can be an invitation to create a plan for moving forward.
 
Teachers Doing the Thinking
When coaches ask, “What if?” they affirm that the teachers is capable of careful analysis and professional judgment. Rather than delivering a solution, you’re offering a possibility and trusting the teacher to examine it. It says, “This is a thought experiment. You know your context. Let’s explore this together.”
 
When I ask, “What if students generated their own questions before reading?” or “I wonder where partner talk might fit into this lesson,” I am not handing over a finished solution. I am inviting the teacher into inquiry.
 
When we frame ideas as possibilities rather than prescriptions, we signal that teachers’ knowledge of their students matters in determining whether the idea is worth pursuing. Asking, “What if?” supports professional agency, strengthens confidence, and reinforces the relationship of respect.
 
Collaborative Partnership
“What if?” communicates that we are thinking about this together. Coaching isn’t a top-down dynamic – it is shared inquiry, with both of us bringing curiosity to the context. That shift from telling to thinking together leads to rich professional dialogue and strengthens the coaching partnership.
 
During team meetings, collective thinking is expanded and ideas can multiply!  I saw this in action while planning a lesson on equivalent fractions with two excellent third-grade teachers. One teacher expressed concern about students’ lack of background knowledge. The other shared that using a balance scale had helped in the past. Then I added, “What if you used modeling clay on the balance scale — equal blobs on each side — and then divided them into halves and quarters to show equivalence?” That idea wasn’t mine alone. It grew from their concerns and prior experience. Everyone had ownership.
 
When ideas emerge through dialogue—when a teacher names a concern, recalls a prior success, and together we extend the thinking—ownership is distributed.
 
When we ask “What if?” in response to a teacher’s expressed need, we extend the teacher’s thinking. Improvement is a shared endeavor, not a delivered prescription. Joint ownership increases commitment because teachers have shaped the ideas.  Improvement happens through co-construction rather than compliance.
 
Flexibility and Growth
When we ask, “What if?” we present ideas as something to consider rather than something to unquestioningly implement. “What if?” can gently disrupt habitual patterns and routines that have outlived their usefulness. Asking, “What if?” can stretch thinking, allowing new possibilities to emerge while still honoring what is already working.
 
“What if?” invites teachers to imagine alternatives and compare outcomes. It kindles hypotheses and experimentation. That experimental mindset reduces pressure and increases willingness to try something new. This mental flexibility fosters innovation and growth.
 
Two Small Words
When “What if?” reflects genuine curiosity, ideas are carefully examined, reasoning is articulated, and shared expertise is elevated. These two small words, asked with sincerity and respect, create space for thinking, Potent change can begin with two small words and a posture of curiosity.
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

Using AI to boost writing without compromising human connection:
 
https://www.the74million.org/article/how-ai-is-helping-nyc-english-teachers-improve-middle-school-reading-and-writing/
 
 
Balancing literacy and play:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/balancing-play-literacy-mandates-preschool
 
 
Sketchnoting to increase retention:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/sketchnoting-in-the-library/
 
 
Careful words for coaching:
 
https://barkleypd.com/blog/coaches-words-and-questions/
 
 
Reasons to do an author study:
https://www.readingrockets.org/books/authorstudy/reasons
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FNDS26 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

Offering Choice in Coaching Recommendations

You were hired as an instructional coach because you have solid knowledge of content and pedagogy, as well as a deep reservoir of classroom experience. During a coaching conversation, an important questions to ask yourself is, which parts of that repertoire do you share—and when?

Just because we could offer suggestions doesn’t mean we should. The discernment lies in knowing what to bring forward.

Honoring Teacher Choice

Growth sticks best when the arc of change is set by the teacher. An important part of a coach’s job is to pay compassionate attention to the clues teachers give us about their readiness and to honor their judgment and choices.

The teacher sitting across from you is the most reliable source of information to guide your recommendations. The questions she asks tell you what she’s thinking about, what she’s wrestling with, and what she’s ready to try. When a colleague poses a specific question, her question reveals her focus. It shows you where her energy is.

Instead of offering just one option in response to a teacher’s question, consider offer a few alternatives for the teacher to consider. Offering choice develops teachers’ power and efficacy. Being asked to decide rather than being told what to do signals, “I believe in your professional judgment.” That matters.

There’s also a motivational benefit. Research shows that offering choice increases engagement and persistence. When a teacher chooses, she’s far more invested in making that choice work. It becomes her goal—not yours.

A Self-Selected Journey

I saw this clearly in my work with Stephanie. I had observed her lesson on crafting engaging beginnings in narrative writing. She used a PowerPoint to introduce four techniques writers use to hook readers. During our debrief, we started with celebrations. I asked what happened in the lesson that she was especially pleased with.

Stephanie felt good about student behavior. She had added all-respond opportunities and varied her voice when she noticed attention slipping. She paired each writing “hook” with a physical action to help students remember. The lesson met its objective: students were introduced to the techniques.

And yet—she was disappointed. Students weren’t enthusiastic. She felt like she had to work hard to keep them with her.

Before our meeting, I had jotted down a few reflections. Many of them pointed to engagement:

·        Make connections with students’ experiences and interests.

·        Limit rote repetition; emphasize thinking.

·        Create opportunities for inquiry and discussion.

Because Stephanie had already named engagement as a concern, the door was open. We talked through these ideas conversationally. I would float one out and ask, “What do you think?” After some discussion, I asked her to choose a goal. What would she like to work on next?
 
Stephanie grabbed onto inquiry and discovery, but expressed hesitation. “It will be hard,” she said. “I like to have more control.”
 
We talked a bit about how she might balance her need for control with her students’ need for discovery. Inquiry didn’t have to mean chaos or a sprawling research project. It could be bounded and managed so that she still felt control. Stephanie was seeing how her hope for more enthusiasm and her need for control could co-exist. We also explored why inquiry felt uncomfortable. Had she experienced discovery-based teaching herself? Did she have models? Not really. No wonder it felt risky!
 
But by the end of our conversation, Stephanie was energized. She wasn’t complying with a coach’s recommendation—she was stepping into her own professional curiosity.
 
Who Decides?
Who decides the next step in improving instruction?
Just as Stephanie’s students needed opportunities for discovery, Stephanie needed space to inquire into her own teaching. She identified the concern. She selected the goal. We explored ideas together. Rather than positioning myself as the expert, we considered instructional improvement together. I offered options, not directives.
 
When teachers’ voices lead the conversation, they see their strengths and name where they need to grow. When I focus my recommendations on the next step that a teacher has identified, we can come up with a tangible plan to achieve their goal. As instructional coaches, we have expertise to share. The art is in knowing when and how to offer it.
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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Top of Form

Bottom of Form

This week, you might want to take a look at:

Teach students to do their own thinking, without the AI crutch:
 
https://ccira.blog/2026/02/02/teaching-students-what-to-do-instead-of-asking-the-chatbot/
 
 
How careful words boost understanding:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/the-language-we-use/  
 
 
Why teach handwriting in a digital age?
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/teaching-handwriting-older-students
 
 
Don’t remediate – accelerate:
 
https://www.middleweb.com/53063/accelerate-or-remediate-youre-at-the-controls/
 
 
What Wordle can teach us about phonics instruction:
 
https://www.ascd.org/blogs/what-wordle-reminds-us-about-effective-phonics-and-spelling-instruction
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FEB2026 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!
 
 

When Coaching Questions Spark Curiosity

One of the most impactful moves in instructional coaching isn’t a protocol, a tool, or a strategy—it’s a question. Questions can invite teachers to pause, think, and reimagine what they’re doing and why. That curiosity can fuel impactful instructional change.
 
A Coaching Conversation That Changed the Work
 
Coaching questions can engage the intellectual curiosity of the teachers we are working with. That’s what happened when Andi was coaching a group of high-school English teachers. With the ACT test coming up for their juniors, test prep was on their minds. They had identified grammar and punctuation rules as an area of need based on previous assessment data and evidence from student work.
 
A conversation grew around Andi’s questions: “What is the overall goal you want to achieve regarding punctuation?” and “Why is it important for them to understand punctuation or at least how to use it?”
 
Liz responded, “They need to know how to be clear,” and Cherie followed up with, “Well, they need to know how to write when they go to college.”
 
Andi’s questions helped the teachers extend their focus from a narrow goal of doing well on the upcoming test to one with broader application.
 
As they planned a lesson with this purpose in mind, Andi again asked questions. When they shared concerns that students’ Native American cultural heritage meant that speaking out in class might press against cultural norms, Andi asked, “How else could students show they understand what you are teaching them, besides answering aloud?”
 
Through discussion, they planned an effective, interactive lesson where students worked collaboratively in small groups, moving from station to station to create sentences with varied structure and punctuation from strips with words and phrases.
 
Andi’s questions supported design of a lesson that was culturally appropriate, authentically purposeful, and highly engaging for students. Her questions challenged teachers to find a better way than the worksheets they had previously used for grammar instruction. The teachers were engaged and intrigued. They had energy for the task because they were curious. Andi’s questions encouraged them not only to think, but to rethink what they had done previously when teaching grammar. Her questions generated collective learning.
 
Why This Matters
 
This scenario isn’t powerful because Andi had the right answers. It’s powerful because she resisted the urge to provide them. Instead, she asked questions that:

·        Expanded the teachers’ purpose beyond test preparation

·        Centered students’ cultural context and ways of demonstrating understanding

·        Opened space for creativity, movement, and collaboration

·        Invited teachers to reconsider familiar practices

Teachers give effort when coaches ask questions that incite their curiosity and challenge them. Asking questions shifts the thinking to teachers, creating energy and agency. Teachers are interested and immersed in the work.

 
As coaches, our questions can open up the work. When we ask questions that help teachers connect instruction to purpose, we don’t just support better lessons. We cultivate curiosity, and curiosity sustains growth long after the coaching conversation ends.
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
Risks and benefits of school AI use:
 
https://www.npr.org/2026/01/14/nx-s1-5674741/ai-schools-education
 
 
Helping students know they belong in a classroom community:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/do-i-belong/
 
 
Interactive vocabulary lessons:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/how-to-turn-vocabulary-lessons-into-nuanced-conversations-about-meaning
 
 
This short video about how to create timelines in Google Sheets:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqdjTMit4tU
 
 
This podcast about getting small businesses involved in education:
 
https://www.teachingchannel.com/blog/podcast-65
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FEB2026 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!
 

Encore Post: Funneling or Focusing - Using Questions to Support Thinking

Asking questions is the fulcrum of the GIR model, the coaching moves that gives the bulk of the decision-making to the teacher.  If you have been working with a teacher on something that was new for them, like differentiation or technology integration, you probably offered a lot of support initially, modeling and making recommendations. When teachers have more experience with the approach, you want them to take ownership for it. You do this by asking questions – but be careful what you ask.
 
Math teachers sometimes talk about two types of questions: funneling and focusing. Funneling questions start broad and get narrow, leading the learner to your answer – the idea or approach you had in your head.  Focusing questions support the learner’s responses and guide them based on their own problem-solving pattern. Although there are times when funneling is the right approach, when you are ready to tip the balance and shift responsibility to the teacher, focusing questions will be your friend.
 
A focusing pattern of questioning will center on the teacher’s contributions. You listen to the teacher and consider her responses, asking follow-up questions that center on these ideas.  The result is a conversation built on your expectation that the teacher now has the experience to think strategically about how to use the new approach.  Focusing questions demonstrate your respect for the teacher’s ideas.
 
Focusing questions are more open-ended and thought-provoking than funneling ones. Compare the two coaching conversations below:
 
Funneling
Teacher: I’m planning the final project for the unit and wanted to think of some ways to differentiate.
Coach: We’ve talked about differentiating the process, product, and content. Do you want to try differentiating all three for this project?
Teacher: Sure.
Coach: Have you considered using the RAFT format?
Teacher: I don’t think I’ve heard of that.
Coach: RAFT is an acronym that stands for Role of the writer, audience, format, and topic. You make a chart to give students choices about each.
 
This is an extreme example, but you get the idea. It is the coach’s thinking that is at the center of this conversation.  Here’s another example:
 
Focusing
Teacher: I’m planning the final project for the unit and wanted to think of some ways to differentiate.
Coach: What are some of the ideas you’ve been thinking about for the project?
Teacher: I really don’t have any solid ideas yet, but I want students to really be able to demonstrate that they understand different perspectives about immigration.
Coach:  You want each student’s project to represent multiple perspectives?
Teacher: Maybe. Or maybe they could choose which perspective they want to represent. And then when they present, everyone would experience those multiple perspectives.
Coach: Hmmmm.  Either way could be valuable. Do you think students could be successful with either type of project – taking multiple perspectives or choosing one to focus on?
Teacher: Some could handle a multiple perspectives project, but I’m feeling like we’d get to the same purpose, and maybe go deeper, if each student chose a perspective they wanted to represent.
Coach: So, what are those perspectives? Do you want to give students a list to choose from?
 
In this conversation, the coach guides the teacher to examine her own ideas. Although funneling might be a helpful form of questioning when there is one right answer or when a teacher gets stuck, a focusing conversation supports teacher exploration and problem-solving, giving the teacher ownership for solutions. Focusing tips the scale, giving the teacher the problem-solving power.
 
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For more about funneling and focusing questions, check out Episode 9 of My Coaches Couch, the podcast (also available in your podcast app).
 
This week, you might want to take a look at:

If you want to strive for more balance, consider the acronym SPREAD:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/spread-teaching-and-a-balanced-life/
 
 
PD approaches for coaches:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/group-instructional-coaching-models
 
 
A short video on getting students to focus on learning, not grades:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJoKocHOdnI
 
 
Using Super Bowl ads in the classroom:
 
https://www.frankwbaker.com/mlc/super-bowl-ads/
 
 
Reminder to talk “with” students, not “at” them (keep watching…):
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Nyr1OizVo0
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FEB2026 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!
 
 

Coaches, Fix Your Face

The last couple of weeks, I’ve been doing lots of classroom observations. I love feeling the energy and presence of the students, whether it’s kindergartners or high-schoolers. Observation has refilled my educator soul. It has also given me lots of opportunities to fix my face.
 
Here’s what I mean. When I’m observing in a classroom, I get super-focused on the details. I want to take it all  in – and there’s a lot to take in! I am watching and listening to both the teacher and the students. I am scanning the walls and the floors, noticing the charts and the assignment that just fell under the desk. All this while taking mad notes that I can refer to later. It’s a lot! And sometimes my face shows it.
 
Even though I can’t see myself, I can feel the sternness of my expression as I focus. Inside I’m feeling energized and happy, but my face – well, it is so focused that the inner smile (or not) doesn’t make it to the surface. Whether the lesson is rolling along smoothly or has hit a wall, though, it will serve me, the teacher, and the students best if I fix my face and wear a pleasant expression.
 
You’re Not Invisible
 
Even though I try to slip into the classroom quietly without causing a stir, and I usually sit quietly out-of-the-way without interfering, my presence is felt in the classroom. This week, I saw lots of sideways glances from students. When I had a smile, they softened; sometimes they returned the smile, but always their brow relaxed. This was also true of teachers. Usually, they were trying to ignore me and go about their business of attending to students, but they knew I was there. They felt me in the room. And there were furtive glances to check in on me. If I didn’t look pleasant, they felt they had cause to worry. Even though we’d established that these were not evaluative observations, teachers can’t help but feel judged when someone is watching. So I needed to keep reminding myself to fix my face.
 
Your Face is Feedback
 
When teachers or students take that quick look at you during a lesson observation, your face is feedback. A furrowed brow or clenched jaw, even if it came from just thinking hard, could unintentionally signal trouble. It interrupts the lesson’s flow, just a bit, if teacher or students pause to think, “What is going on here?” Even a straight face can read as judgment.
 
A relaxed expression or smile, on the other hand, reads as, “I’m here to learn with you.” A pleasant face offers psychological safety. It offers calm (even if there is a bit of chaos!). For the coaching relationship, a pleasant face maintains trust. It reduces potential performance anxiety.  
 
Students, too, take cues from body language. They are attuned to the emotional signals being sent. If the coach looks tense, they may feel uneasy or distracted. They become guarded. But a pleasant expression supports student engagement, allowing you to see what you came to see – an authentic learning experience.
 
Outward Impacts Inward
 
An interesting, scientifically-proven fact is that when we smile, we begin to feel happier. There must be some muscle connection between the brain and the upturned lips! Our outward expression shapes our inward posture. Wiping off a frown can improve our disposition and enhance our curiosity. And curiosity, of course, is an important coaching mindset!
 
Softening your face during an observation can soften your stance, too. Judgement is released as jaws are unclenched. Instead of evaluation or frustration, we can recognize nuance and opportunities for learning – for the students, the teacher, and ourselves.
 
Partnership, Not Perfection
 
Because a soft face signals curiosity, it enhances partnership. We don’t expect perfection in any lesson, and our face should acknowledge that. There’s a whole range of teaching moments, and we’re there for all of them. We expect complexity. Say it when you have a chance, and show it in your face. This message matters, especially when working with teachers who are still building their confidence.
 
When a coach’s expression is open, it conveys alliance – we are in this together. We nonverbally communicate cohesion and respect. We trust the teacher’s professionalism, even when things aren’t going as planned. A coach’s soft expression helps the teacher stay present in the moment, thinking about their instruction and their students’ response to it. We are in it together. We are engaged in shared inquiry of practice.
 
When observing, you are collecting experiences that will later be reflected on collaboratively. This observation is not a silent evaluation, it is a shared experience that will allow you to learn together during later conversations. A welcoming face maintains partnership.
 
Keep Fixing Your Face
 
Because coaches want to take in everything, our faces can sometimes harden. It isn’t an intentional judgement – it’s a physical response to intense focus. That’s why we may need to keep fixing our face throughout a classroom observation. When I fix my face, I send the message that I am honoring the complexity of teaching and learning.
 
My face communicates the kind of coach I intend to be. When I manage my expression, I can signal respect, curiosity, and shared ownership of the work. A calm, pleasant expression supports students, reassures the teacher, and keeps me oriented toward partnership rather than judgment.
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

Use priming language to set the stage for learning:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/using-priming-words-engage-students
 
 
Help students find ideas by (re)connecting with the actual, physical world:
 
https://ccira.blog/2025/12/15/writing-ideas-keeping-it-real/
 
 
Ideas for indoor recess:
 
https://www.learnersedge.com/blog/fresh-ideas-for-indoor-recess
 
 
Conversations after finishing a read aloud:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/whole-class-conversations-for-read-aloud-closure/
 
 
Ways to say “Thank You” to teachers:
 
https://www.mshouser.com/instructional-coaching/a-few-ways-to-say-thank-you-to-teachers
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: JAN2026 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!
 

Narrow the Focus: Coaching for Portable Practices

This week, I saw the power of getting specific during a coaching conversation. Specificity grounds the work in practice. Naming concrete moments helps teachers uncover their decision making and understand why something worked (or didn’t). And specifics are portable – teachers can carry them forward into future lessons. Ironically, getting specific makes effective teaching moves more generalizable. That’s why the questions I asked Patricia during our coaching work this week drew from consecutively narrower and narrower slices of teaching.
 
Patricia is a novice 1^st-grade teacher, and it was my first time to observe her class, I wanted to get off on the right foot, so after we got settled, I asked, “Thinking back on that lesson, where did you see the most learning happen?” I felt that asking for a success would be a positive launch for our conversation.
 
Patricia paused and thought back on the lesson she had just taught, on using Elkonin boxes to recognize graphemes (letter representations of sounds – that day it was “ai” and “ay”). After a pause, Patricia said she felt the independent practice was most beneficial part of the lesson. Our viewfinder was getting narrower, but being even more specific about the lesson could offer more insight.
 
“What did you see during independent practice that showed they were learning?” was my next question. More specific. Patricia responded by saying she noticed that some students were initially putting one letter in each box (not accurate for the “ai” and “ay” combos), but later she saw fewer students making that mistake.
 
“What helped them recognize that?” was my next question (more specific still!).
 
Patricia replied that she asked students about the sounds in the words.
 
 “Can you think of a specific student who you talked with and how that conversation went?” I asked.
 
Patricia named a student and said she’d asked, “How many sounds in that word?” She described how the student had said the word slowly, counting the sounds, and then realized the mistake he’d made with the Elkonin (sound) boxes.
 
Next, I asked what seemed to support that student’s learning. Patricia paused and said, “I think that he figured it out when he was able to verbalize his own thinking,” Now there was a generalizable nugget! Because of this insight, Patricia decided to include opportunities for students to verbalize their thinking as a predictable part of lesson closure. Going from broad to specific in our coaching conversation led to an approach that worked for Patricia’s students.
 
Coaching questions that focus are like turning the lens on a fancy camera – Zooming in to get at the tiny details. Asking questions that narrow the focus supports the teacher’s responses and guides them based on their own problem-solving pattern.
 
Working from broad to narrow recognizes that teaching practice is complex and worthy of close attention. Coaches can ask questions that iteratively increase specificity in ways that invite reflection, analysis, and possibility. Rather than offering generic advice, the coach communicates: Your choices matter, and they’re worth examining carefully. As I noticed this week with Patricia, narrowing the focus can keep the conversation anchored in the teacher’s own thinking and instructional choices,
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

What makes teacher learning impactful?
 
https://www.edsurge.com/news/2025-12-10-why-i-can-t-pretend-teacher-learning-doesn-t-matter-anymore
 
 
NCTE’s student writing awards are open!
 
https://ncte.org/awards/student-writing-awards/
 
This podcast episode with strategies to help students develop self-awareness:
 
https://www.bamradionetwork.com/track/six-strategies-to-help-students-develop-self-awareness-and-self-reflection-skills/
 
 
Prioritizing self care:
 
https://www.teachingchannel.com/blog/teacher-self-care
 
Teachers as risk-takers:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/take-a-chance/
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: JAN2026 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!
 

Coaches, Keep Your Head Where Your Feet Are

Recently, when I was talking with my friend Jean Hill, who is an amazing middle school instructional coach, I asked her, “When you’re having a coaching conversation, how do you keep your questions authentic?”
 
Jean said, “The best way I ground myself in keeping my questions authentic is to keep my mind where my feet are in that moment.”
 
“Keep my mind where my feet are”--- that idea has stayed with me.
 
Jean pointed out that, as coaches, we are most effective when we are responsive to the conversation. Being responsive keeps our questions and comments relevant and authentic. And we can only be responsive when we are truly present – when are mind is where our feet are.  
 
Being truly present is a gift to the teachers we are working with. Maybe that’s why it’s called being present. Presence is not passive; it is an active, intentional way of being with another person. It is a choice to offer our full attention, curiosity, and care in a moment that matters.
 
This week, I was in a training with a wonderful presenter. He was knowledgeable and engaging, friendly and fully-present himself. And yet, I struggled sometimes to be present because of the worries in my head – the classes starting Monday that I’m not ready for, the growing pileup of email in my inbox, and the long list of other tasks to be completed. I occasionally picked up my phone when there was a topic I was already familiar with, only to find I’d lost the train of thought being presented when I glanced up seconds later after deleting an email or two. And I began to feel increasingly rude and guilty about not being fully present. He deserved it, and I deserved it, too. If I was going to be there, pulling myself away from other duties at the beginning of the semester, it might as well be for good purpose. If I missed the chance to plan and missed the chance to refresh my understanding during the training, I was really missing out. I made an intentional shift to being present.
 
When coaches make classroom observations, our presence extends beyond the teacher to include students as well. We are tuned in to what we hear, see, and feel in the room. We notice patterns, interactions, and moments of learning—and we also consider what teachers and students might be hearing, seeing, and feeling. Presence helps us hold multiple perspectives at once without rushing to conclusions.
 
During coaching conversations, being present means giving full attention to what is happening in the right now. When present, our brains focus on what is currently going on rather than thinking about what we will say or do later – the now instead of the next. When coaches are present, they listen to understand. They don’t interrupt. They don’t begin rehearsing their response while a teacher is still talking. Instead, they tune in completely to the teacher’s words and ideas. They listen for meaning and attend to the tone and volume those words are wrapped in. They notice pauses, hesitations, and emphasis. They are aware of non-verbals, recognizing the complete message that is being communicated. They build in pauses so that they can fully attend in the moment instead of thinking ahead. They listen to understand instead of listening to respond.
 
Being present means observing with clarity and from a place of positive assumptions and empathy. Presence allows us to choose how we perceive—to lean toward openness and generosity rather than judgment or urgency. We notice teachers’ questions and quandaries, and we stay curious about what those questions might be pointing toward. We sense whether teachers are engaged, energized, uncertain, or overwhelmed, and we adjust the conversation as needed.
 
As I prepare for coaching conversations that are held in the midst of a busy day, I often set an alarm on my phone for when the conversation needs to end so that I can make it to the next thing on my calendar. I did that because it helps me be fully present in the situation rather than regularly checking to see whether I need to move on. But a comment from a coachee made me realize I need to be explicit about my intent. She jokingly said something about Dr. Collet and her alarms, and I realized she felt they were dismissive, sending the message, “I’m done with you!” My plan for being fully present had left her feeling just the opposite. Once I shared my why, she had an “aha” moment, but her comment had given me my own. The signals I design for myself might be misconstrued by others. When I name presence as a shared value, and explain my own process, we can all practice presence. Because being present does, of course, take practice.
 
Coaching is cognitively and emotionally demanding, and it can be hard to stay present when many concerns are swirling in our heads. To be more fully present, we may need to do less multitasking and deliberately slow a frenetic pace. Creating breathing space—before and during coaching conversations—helps us stay focused and aware. When our minds wander, we can gently pull ourselves back by grounding in our senses: noticing what we see, hear, and feel in the moment.
 
Presence stems from full attention and the flow of information. When we are present, our next right move is responsive to the person and the situation in front of us, rather than driven by habit or agenda. When coaches are present, boundaries collapse, creating opportunities for connection and growth.
 
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:
This podcast about responsiveness:
 
https://www.classroomcaffeine.com/guests/kevin-leander
 
 
Story acting builds community and literacy knowledge:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/implementing-story-acting-with-young-learners
 
 
Suggestions for hosting memorable reading and writing events:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/hosting-reading-and-writing-events/
 
 
Alternatives to lab reports (and a structure that could work in any academic context):
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/get-creative-lab-report-alternatives
 
 
Becoming better:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgXbq0B-gOc&list=PLu-yqAdP0Ug0AKOH4a9MgMW-jfARaybar&index=2
 
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: PLIVIRTUAL for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!