Friday, April 14, 2017

“Yes, And” Not “Yes, But”

I had a conversation with a friend this week about her moody early-adolescent son that provides some insights about coaching.  If you know or parent a young teen, you’ve probably had experiences similar to my friend’s.  Her son was on a trip to New York City, and as she checked in with him each night she noticed at pattern.

“How was walking across the Brooklyn bridge?”
“It was a cool view, but it was so windy!”

“How was China Town?”
“The food was good, but the lines were long.”

“What did you think of the museum?”
“The exhibits were cool, but we stayed too long.

It was as if my friend’s son couldn’t allow himself to be happy. His, “but” wiped the positive out of every situation.

But, the contradictive contraction, is also an enemy to coaching.  When a teacher is describing something in a lesson that she perceives as effective, I have sometimes countered with, “Yes, but,” choosing to focus on the thing I felt needed changing.

Teacher:  Students were really engaged during the video!
Coach: Yes, but they lost focus right afterward during the discussion.

Teacher:  Look how well Chandra did on this assignment!
Coach: Yes, but over half of the class didn’t meet the objective.

Teacher:  This is such a fun project! I do it every year in April.
Coach: Yes, but it requires students to bring a lot of materials from home.

But – the three-letter word that can instantly take the wind out of a teacher’s sails!  Now that I realize the effects, I try replacing it with an additive conjunction.  Here’s how the above responses might sound instead:

“Yes, and students were really engaged again later during small-group work.  What do you think made them so engaged during those activities?”

“Yes, and I noticed many other students made similar growth. Let’s take a closer look.”

“Yes, and I’m thinking it might be a great opportunity for incorporating technology that all students can access at school.”

If but is a downer add-on, and might be the antidote.  I’ve noticed but seems to close teachers down; however, teachers seem to welcome an expansive response to their views.  So the next time you catch yourself ready to say, “Ýes, but….” think of my friend’s teenager and vow to have a more positive view.  Your coaching will be better for it!


This week, you might want to take a look at:



Coaching for equity:



Thinking about onomatopoeia during National Poetry Month?  Try this lesson for K-2:



Fusing poetry and content with apostrophe poems.  Here are some ideas:


Writing a scientific explanation:


That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!

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