Confidence that Makes Space: Coaching with Curiosity

As coaches, it’s important to be confident about what we bring to the table. You were hired as a coach because you have knowledge of content and pedagogy.  You know how to teach effectively.  Your job is to help others in their pursuits of improvement, and you have a lot to give. But effective coaches balance confidence with curiosity, recognizing that they know a lot, but they don’t know everything. They look to the teachers to find out what they know – about their students, about their class’s history, and about themselves as teachers. 
 
Confidence v. Pride
 
Confidence is a recognition of our own capability. It’s self-efficacy—the belief that we can make a difference in classrooms and in the lives of teachers and students. And as coaches, we need that!
 
But pride? That will not serve us well. Pride leans toward ego. It shows up as needing to be right, needing to be seen as the expert, or walking into a conversation with our minds already made up. And when that happens, the door to dialogue, trust, and partnership closes.
 
Confidence with Curiosity
 
Confidence in coaching doesn’t mean knowing everything. It means offering what you know while staying genuinely open to what the teacher knows. When we approach conversations with curiosity, we signal that we value teachers’ expertise. We position ourselves not as the one with answers, but as a partner in thinking.
 
It feels easy to jump in with a recommendation when a teacher asks for help. But often, a more powerful move is to pause and ask a curious question that allows the teacher to surface her own thinking.
 
When reviewing student work, we might ask, “What is really important to you in this assignment?” When a teacher says she wants students to be able to show their thinking, we might authentically ask, “What does that look like to you?” Authentic questions like these seek the teachers’ perspectives and insight.
 
Recently, I had a coach-the-coach conversation with Angela, an instructional coach who brings lots of experience and expertise to her work. As she talked about the coaching work she was doing, I noticed that our conversation focused mostly on what Angela was observing and her ideas for moving forward. She had noticed, for example, that students were hesitant to jump into whole group conversations, so she had shared ideas with the teacher about setting up small-group instruction. I wondered whether the teacher might feel like things were being done to her or for her, rather than with her. So I asked, “What other ideas has the teacher had about how to increase students’ engagement and participation? What other ideas have teachers brought to the table that might fit in with your vision?” These questions prompted Angela to take a curious stance that elevated the teacher’s voice.
 
A curious stance carries positive assumptions. You communicate respect. You communicate, “You are thoughtful.” “You are observant”. “You are capable.” Over time, those messages build the teacher’s confidence—and that supports lasting change.
 
Because when teachers feel both respected and capable—when they feel seen for what they already know—coaching becomes something powerful: it is shared learning, where both people grow.
 
Confidence with Humility
 
C.S. Lewis said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.” Humility is a mindset about how we approach those we are working with. Are we stand-and-deliver directors or side-by-side partners? Humility establishes a productive horizontal stance with teachers, rather than a vertical, authoritative stance over them. We can acknowledge and draw on teachers’ expertise and experience while sharing our own.
 
As coaches, it’s important to be confident about what we bring to the table. We can be confident that we are fulfilling our coaching role when we also acknowledge that others bring valid and valuable knowledge and experience. Coaching is a learning journey we undertake together. It is relational work.
 
So yes—be confident. You have knowledge and experience that matter. Lean into the belief that you can make a difference. But hold that confidence with curiosity, and temper it with humility. Quiet confidence, paired with genuine curiosity, invites collaboration and deepens the coaching partnership.
 
 
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You can find My Coaches Couch, the podcast (with different content) in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com.
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:
Instant mood-boosters:
 
https://aestheticsofjoy.com/2020/10/17/8-quick-things-you-can-do-right-now-to-boost-your-mood/
 
 
Family engagement is not an event:
 
https://www.smartbrief.com/original/family-engagement-isnt-an-event-its-a-mindset
 
 
Virtual tutoring can boost learning:
 
https://www.k12dive.com/news/virtual-tutoring-studies-offer-hope-for-early-literacy-outcomes/814091/
 
 
It’s still National Poetry Month - Poetry with paint-chip boards:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/blackout-poems-and-paint-chip-haiku-two-fun-ways-into-poetry-with-adolescents/
 
 
Why positive comments fail (video):
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIpk5g0h2lQ
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: APR2026 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

Coaching Conversations: Who’s Talking?

“The one who does the talking does the learning” is an adage that is just as true for teachers as it is for students. But many coaching conversations tilt heavily toward the coach’s voice. It’s not hard to see why. Coaches are usually experienced, observant, and eager to help. When we notice something in a classroom, our instinct is to jump in with a suggestion.
 
But the more we talk, the less space teachers have to process, reflect, and ultimately own their instructional decisions.
 
The Cost of Over-Recommending
 
Recommending is an important coaching move. There are moments when teachers truly need a clear idea or next step. But when we over-rely on recommendations, we can unintentionally short-circuit teacher thinking. When we step in too quickly, we may solve the problem—but we also take away the teacher’s opportunity to wrestle with it. And there’s growth in the wrestle! It’s where judgment develops. It’s where ownership begins.
 
We can insert a pause point before speaking by asking ourselves, “Why do I want to make this recommendation?” This pause gives coaches the chance to respond, rather than react – to facilitate, rather than tell. If elevating teacher voice is the goal, one of the most powerful shifts we can make is: ask more, tell less.
 
Shifting the Coaching Conversation
 
This is what happened when Caroline and I were working on improving classroom discussions. When I observed in Caroline’s classroom, I noticed that Caroline was repeating nearly every student’s answer. Immediately, a recommendation sprang to mind: “Don’t repeat student answers.” But I stopped myself. I thought about how much capacity Caroline had shown recently; I thought about her developing self-awareness. I knew she didn’t really need my recommendation. Instead, she needed a nudge to do her own thinking. That nudge could come in the form of a question.
 
So I thought to myself, “Why do I want to make that recommendation?” Asking this question helped me get at the root of the issue and ask a question instead, to support and give direction to reflection.
 
I realized I wanted to recommend because, although Caroline was asking thought-provoking questions, the discussion remained a ping-pong conversation between Caroline and one, then another student. I knew Caroline’s students were ready to talk to each other, not just to her. So I asked, “What would have to change so that your students talked more to each other, and less to you, during whole-class discussions?”
 
Caroline began by mentioning something we’d talked about before – encouraging students to look at each other, rather than at her, when they answered a question. She wondered whether it was time to drop the habit she had of pulling sticks to see who to call on – was that constraining the conversation? I could see that she was mulling over recent class discussions as she talked. Her eyes had a reflective gaze as she revisited those conversations. Then suddenly her focus and her posture changed. She sat up straight, looked directly at me with wide eyes, and said, “I need to stop repeating students’ answers.”
 
Although it was affirming to me to have Caroline come to the recommendation I’d begun with, that wasn’t really the point. The other ideas she had suggested were equally important for her and her class. And the fact that Caroline had come to these ideas herself gave me confidence that she would be motivated to put them into practice. She knew what to do. It was in her head. My question simply started moving her thinking in that direction.
 
Questions as a Tool for Elevating Teacher Voice
 
What’s striking in this moment isn’t just that Caroline landed on a strong next step. It’s how she got there. The question didn’t lead her to one answer—it opened up a line of thinking. That’s the power of questions in coaching.
 
Well-placed questions:
*Shift cognitive load to the teacher
*Surface existing knowledge
*Create space for reflection and refinement
*Increase the likelihood of follow-through
 
Research reinforces the value of this approach: adults are more likely to implement ideas they generate themselves – not because they’re necessarily better ideas, but because they own the ideas. When we think about elevating teacher voice, it’s not just about airtime. It’s about agency.
 
Press Pause
 
The next time you’re in a coaching conversation and feel a recommendation coming on, press pause. Ask yourself if the recommendation is really needed. If a question could tap teacher’s knowledge reservoir to surface their own solution, don’t recommend – ask. Consider what question might move the teacher’s thinking forward. You might still end up making recommendations, but you’ll be offering them into a space where thinking has already begun – and where the ideas can be weighed, adapted, or displaced by something better. When the coach talks less, teachers think more. Elevating teacher voice makes room for teachers to do the kind of thinking that leads to meaningful improvement.
 
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You can find My Coaches Couch, the podcast (with different content) in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com.
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

3 ways to help students manage emotions:
 
https://blog.heinemann.com/3-coping-skills-activities-to-help-kids-manage-emotions
 
 
Students with a sense of belonging perform better (and how to create it):
 
https://www.smartbrief.com/original/now-is-the-moment-to-build-belonging-at-school
 
 
Translanguaging helps students use their home language as a tool to acquire the academic and content vocabulary in English:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/making-space-students-home-languages-classroom
 
 
A podcast episode about cultivating STEM identity through creative problem-solving:
 
https://www.pebc.org/podcast/cultivating-stem-identity-with-creative-problem-solving-featuring-wendy-ward-hoffer/
 
 
Making time for students’ (actual!) voices during writing workshop:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/are-your-writers-talking-during-writing-workshop/
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: APR2026 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!
 

Temperature Check: Making Coaching Recommendations

After making a recommendation, ask, “How does that sound to you?”
 

Making Recommendations
When teachers are coming up empty in their search for a more effective approach, coaches’ recommendations can play a helpful role. Recommending isn’t always the right move, but when a suggestion is called for, coaches’ recommendations are a useful resource. Making recommendations can appropriately scaffold teachers as they develop new instructional strategies.
 
As coaches draw on their relevant background knowledge and experience and review available data, including classroom observations, they might advocate for particular choices and actions. Recommendation can move the work forward when coaches offer relevant insight while acknowledging that the teacher knows his students and their needs, The teachers’ insights, gained from first-hand experience, will help the teacher decides how to apply the craft. So, after making a recommendation, it’s helpful to do a temperature check, asking something like:
 
*   “How does that sound to you?”
*   “What do you think about this?”
*   “What might this look like in your classroom?”
*   “What about this seems important or interesting to you?”
*   “How might this work for you?”
*   “How might this work for your students?”
 
Increasing Ownership
Another benefit of doing a recommendation temperature check is that it increases ownership in next steps, and ownership increases motivation. Coaches can get involved in the details in appropriate ways while keeping the ownership with the teacher.
 
Coaches can support the use of high-yield strategies as they make recommendations that are tailored to the context and owned by the teacher. Change is hard, and giving a teacher a recommendation is a nudge that can move things along – as long as the teacher has taken ownership for the work.
 
Improvement in the complicated work of student learning occurs only when teachers are empowered to discover and discern. Teachers’ commitment to learning and growth increases when their role as professional decision-makers is honored.
 
Recommendations are valuable when they are part of a two-way conversation. Listening to suggestions is a passive experience: a monologue of recommendations is unlikely to engender change. Instead, creating a dialogue about a strategy you’re suggesting allows important learning to emerge. Asking questions about the nuances of what you are suggesting helps the teacher think about possibilities. Inviting her to weigh in increases the chance that there will be uptake – that student outcomes will improve as a result of coaching recommendations.
 
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You can find My Coaches Couch, the podcast (with different content) in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com.
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

April is National Poetry month! Celebrate by including a poem about whatever content you're teaching. Here's a list of non-fiction poetry picture books where you might find just the right thing:

https://readingpowergear.wordpress.com/2016/04/12/nonfiction-picture-book-10-for-10-nonfiction-poetry/

Building effective support systems for new teachers (hint: it includes coaches):

https://edsource.org/2026/supporting-new-teachers-retention/750763

Discussion or Dialogue?

https://choiceliteracy.com/article/fostering-classroom-dialogue/

Contemporary literature fosters literacy:

https://www.edutopia.org/article/jason-reynolds-young-readers

The importance of positive feedback when coaching:

https://simplycoachingandteaching.com/blog/2018/08/28/2018-8-27-fostering-strong-relationships-through-positive-feedback/

 

That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!

Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: APR2026 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!