My Coaches Couch: Best of 2025

As 2025 draws to a close, let’s look back at the most-viewed posts of the year so that you can revisit or discover the content that has drawn the most attention. Here’s the My Coaches Couch 2025 Top 10, in count-down fashion (each post is linked):
 
Let’s get started with the #10 spot!
 
#10. Unearthing Expectations
This post considers hidden expectations teachers have that students may be unaware of and how learning could be increased if teachers made these expectations more explicit.
 
#9. From Data to Action
Instructional coaches help teachers make sense of mountains of assessment data. This post includes structures for exploring assessment results together. Examples of protocols for determining the root cause are described, including the fishbone analysis, the 5 Whys protocol, and the protocol for examining data. Although this August post (and others in the series – see #6, below) described beginning-of-year assessment analysis, they work equally well for considering mid-year data.
 
#8. Sparking Interdependence in Coaching
Interdependence between teacher and coach creates kinetic energy: energy due to movement. This post gives examples and suggestions for collaboration that sparks ideas that wouldn’t be created otherwise.
 
#7. Instructional Coaching Rhythms
Somehow, we’ve come to think of the work we do with teachers as coaching cycles. But what if, instead, we thought of coaching rhythms? Sometimes, our work does have a clear beginning, middle, and end that includes setting a specific goal, measuring progress, and celebrating when the target is reached. But coaching also offers opportunities to be flexible and opportunistic, adjusting in response to the teacher.  
 
#6. Protocols for Scaling the Assessment Data Mountain
Part of the series described in the #9 spot, this post describes the Chalk Talk and Realms of Concern/Influence protocols for finding solutions once root causes have been identified. The posts that followed include additional protocols. The next post described Chalk Talk and Realms of Concern/Influence, followed by a post with the Peeling the Onion, Wagon Wheels, and Affinity Mapping protocols that can support next steps, and finally, a post with additional supports for finding data-supported solutions. Like the protocols described in #9, these posts work equally well for considering mid-year data.
 
#5. Coaching for Teacher Agency
Teacher agency is a cornerstone of effective and sustainable teaching, and coaches can inspire teachers to take ownership of their practices and helping them navigate the demands of the education system.
 
#4. Coaching with a Gentle Nudge
When coaching, recommendations work best when they feel like a gentle nudge rather than an edict. This post offers insights into how the words we choose impact coaching outcomes.
 
3. 10 Things Instructional Coaches Should Know and Do
The 5 things to for coaches to know and 5 things to do described in this post help teachers strengthen their practice and sustain their energy for teaching.
 
2. “What do you want to do more of?”
The coaching question, “What do you want to do more of?” can spark a productive coaching conversation, often one that builds on teachers’ strengths.
 
Drum roll, please! The most-viewed 2025 post was:
 
1. Try This at Home: Ask & Listen
This summertime post encouraged coaches to practice a skill that could carry over into coaching work - being fully present in conversations. The post includes conversational prompts to deepen relationships, invite openness, and create space for new insights to emerge.
 
I hope you’ll take the opportunity to peruse some of these posts as 2025 draws to a close and we amp up for the year ahead.
 
This week, you might want to take a look at:

Staying focused and keeping your leadership passion alive:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/staying-focused-how-leaders-can-keep-their-passion-for-literacy-alive/
 
 
A 1-minute video for students that describes a concrete approach to short constructed responses (the R-A-C-E strategy):
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rXZr7n5qtE
A short video about the value of plants in the classroom😊(check out January houseplant sales!):
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBIQDu5b5uM
 
 
Shifting from trauma-informed care to healing-centered engagement:
 
https://medium.com/@ginwright/the-future-of-healing-shifting-from-trauma-informed-care-to-healing-centered-engagement-634f557ce69c
 
Supports for student-led discussions:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/better-student-led-literature-discussions/
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FDNS25 for 20% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

 

Celebration: A Pause Worth Taking

As we head into winter break, coaches are finally exhaling. Inboxes have quieted and the pace is changing. Once the final gifts are tucked away – and before we rush toward planning, goal-setting, or fixing the unfinished, let’s take a beat and pause to celebrate.
 
Not public or performative; just satisfied noticing.
 
Celebration helps us make meaning of our work. It helps us remember what matters. And it can quietly shape how we re-enter schools in January.
 
Celebrating the Work You Did
This break is a good time stop and celebrate yourself for:
*Where you showed up consistently, even when it was hard,
*When coaching conversations aligned with your values,
*Risks that paid off,
*Noticings that made a difference.
 
Journaling could be your private celebration, or you could talk things through with a listening partner or just hold them in your heart for a second.
 
Choosing What to Carry Forward
Celebration can also be forward-looking. As you reflect, you may notice practices worth protecting:
 
Consider:
*A question you asked that opened conversations
*A way you made teachers’ strengths visible
*A moment when you chose affirmation
 
Naming these now increases the likelihood that they show up again—not by accident, but by intention.
 
Planting Seeds for January
In January, we can carry celebration practices back to school with us. It doesn’t need to be showy or time-consuming to be meaningful.
 
In January, you might begin coaching conversations by asking teachers to:
*Celebrate what they tried,
*Celebrate where they persisted,
*Celebrate when they were responsive.
 
These moments build teachers’ confidence and clarity—two things that matter.
 
Celebration is a coaching practice that shapes identity, energy, and growth.
When we begin the new year grounded in what’s already working, we move forward more purposefully.
 
Celebration is a pause worth taking.
 
For more ideas about celebrating, including public and private, individual and school-wide celebrations, be sure to check out episode 13 of My Coaches Couch, the podcast when it drops on December 30! (also available in your podcast app).
 
This week, you might want to take a look at:

Leadership without leaving the classroom:
 
https://www.edsurge.com/news/2025-10-15-how-i-found-leadership-without-leaving-the-classroom
 
 
Teach reading, not books:
 
https://www.middleweb.com/47929/what-kids-gain-when-we-dont-teach-books/
 
 
First grade family history inquiry project (with meaningful technology integration):
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/family-history-inquiry-project-integrating-technology-with-social-studies-in-first-grade/
 
 
Tips on having influence that are just right for coaches:
 
http://jenniferabrams.com/what-not-to-do-if-you-want-to-be-more-influential/
 
 
A quick video about vocabulary instruction in science:
 
https://www.amnh.org/explore/curriculum-collections/integrating-literacy-strategies-into-science-instruction/vocabulary-instruction
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentxiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! This month, you can use the code: DEC2025 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

 
 

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

Soft Words for Coaching

As a coach, it’s not the fancy words that matter. Little words matter more than you might imagine. Choosing words with a gentler feel can make a meaningful difference in how our ideas are received—and whether those thoughts move from idea to action.
 
Saying, “I’m wondering how a Venn diagram might work in this lesson,” offers an invitation. The teacher I’m working with is free to consider the tool, adapt it, or set it aside. On the other hand, saying, “You should use a Venn diagram instead of that chart,” would land very differently. Even when the idea is sound, the wording can shut thinking down rather than open it up.
 
Small Words, Big Impact
Over time, I’ve become much more attentive to the small words I use in coaching conversations. Little words carry outsized weight. They can position teachers as capable professionals who are actively making decisions—or as people needing to be corrected.
 
One way to pay attention to how our words work is to notice how often we default to language that sounds absolute or evaluative. A simple word like but can negate everything that came before it. Replacing but with and or so keeps the conversation additive rather than corrective. Similarly, shifting from you to we or us signals partnership instead of hierarchy.
 
Modal verbs matter, too. Words like should and must tend to sound like commands, even when we don’t intend them that way. Their gentler counterpart, could, leaves room for choice.
 
In the same way, trading “They sometimes…”  for  “They never” or “They always” acknowledges the complexity of classroom life. Will could become might or maybe, and best could become possible, Instead of, “You should determine…” you might soften the language to, “We could consider,” or “I wonder.”
 
Wrong could be replaced with different; can’t  could become not yet. Even words we might think of as neutral can carry judgment. Small shifts can better communicate optimism and opportunities for growth, rather than finality.
 
Language That Honors Professional Identity

The language choices we make as coaches can do important identity work. Small, simple words subtly shape a teacher’s sense of themselves as knowledgeable, thoughtful professionals. Avoiding evaluative language like good and bad, and replacing harsh modal verbs like should and must with their kinder cousins, might and may, signals that the coach’s ideas are tentative and offered for consideration, not compliance.

For example, “You should make sure everyone is listening before you begin,” can easily sound like a directive. Saying instead, “Something that has worked for me is using a focus signal before giving instruction,” feels like an idea being placed on the table. The content is similar, but the invitation is very different.

Providing a menu of options is another way to avoid what I think of as “you-should-ing.” When we offer possibilities rather than prescriptions, we honor teachers as decision-makers in their own classrooms. And often, it’s the small, gentle words that make the difference.

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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com

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This week, you might want to take a look at:

4 engaging ways to pre-assess (#1 & #3 are my favorites):
 
https://www.middleweb.com/52730/four-simple-ways-to-pre-assess-our-students/
 
 
How video analysis supports teachers’ understanding:
 
https://www.teachingchannel.com/free-videos/
 
 
Setting goals with students (think about this for January):
 
https://www.edutopia.org/blog/back-to-school-goal-setting-students-teacher-maurice-elias
 
 
Nurturing independent reading in middle schoolers:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/nurturing-independent-reading-lives-in-middle-school/
 
 
The idea of embodied cognition may sound complex, but the concept is powerful, and this explanation is practical:
 
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-acting-out-in-school-boosts-learning/
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! This month, you can use the code: DEC2025 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

When Coaches Overdo It

Effective teachers adjust the scaffolding provided so that a learning activity sits squarely within a student’s zone of proximal development. As coaches, we did it with our students - offering just enough support to move learning forward, then gradually stepping back when the support was no longer needed.
 
Coaching is no different.
 
Through dialogue, we scaffold teachers’ professional learning, and when it’s done well, it strengthens reflection and encourages flexible, intentional use of teaching practices. But when we offer too much support for too long, we risk getting in the way of the growth we’re aiming to cultivate. As coaches, we need to be careful not to over-scaffold.
 
Why Scaffolding Matters in Coaching
The Gradual Increase of Responsibility model (see below) describes how effective coaching shifts over time. Coaches might begin with higher levels of support—modeling and recommending, if that’s what’s needed. When less scaffolding is needed, we ask questions—and move toward moves like affirming and praising.
 
The GIR model supports coaches in matching support to need. When coaches intentionally adjust scaffolding, they help teachers of all experience levels stretch. This flexible, responsive support leads to real instructional change.
 
The Problem with Over-Scaffolding
Scaffolding supports learning – but did you know that giving too much support can actually undermine learning? Researchers found that continuing to model once a learner had gained competence reduced agency, damaged self-confidence, and reduced motivation.* And over-scaffolding can limit engagement and restrict responses.**
 
In coaching, this sometimes shows up when our “go-to” moves remain highly supportive—even when the teacher does not need that level of help. For example, a coach might continue recommending specific strategies to a highly capable teacher who could make those decisions independently. Or we might jump in to model when a reflective question would have been enough. The intention is good, but the impact isn’t. Over-scaffolding sends an unintended message: I don’t think you’re ready yet.
 
Matching Support to Need
Effective coaching means adjusting support in real time—stepping in when a teacher is trying something new and stepping back once they have traction.
Sometimes that scaffolding looks like:
 
*offering a specific recommendation when a teacher is trying out an unfamiliar strategy
 
*asking guiding questions to help a teacher think through the details of a lesson
 
*anticipating together how students might respond so a teacher can plan to be flexible
 
When support isn’t needed, we lower the scaffolding. And if movement stagnates, we step in with more support. The key is responsiveness, with scaffolding continuously adjusted—not fixed. When support is no longer needed, removing it is just as important as offering it in the first place.
 
Letting Teachers Take the Lead
Coaching for a gradual increase of teacher responsibility means trusting teachers’ increasing competence and confidence. It means resisting the urge to over-explain, over-model, or over-direct. It means knowing that teachers grow most when they’re supported enough to stretch—rather than over-scaffolded in ways that crowd out their agency.
 
As coaches, our role is to help teachers see what’s possible. When we match scaffolds to the moment, teachers develop stronger instructional decision-making, greater confidence, and an increased sense of ownership over their practice.
 
By avoiding the over-scaffold, we acknowledge that sometimes less support can lead to more learning.
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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*Wood, D. & Middleton, D. (1975). A study of assisted problem-solving. British Journal of Psychology (66)2, 181–91. Pomerantz, F., & Pierce, M. (2013). " When do we get to read?" Reading instruction and literacy mentoring in a" failed" urban elementary school. Reading Improvement, 50(3), 101-117.
**Daniel, S. M., Martin‐Beltrán, M., Peercy, M. M., & Silverman, R. (2016). Moving beyond yes or no: Shifting from over‐ scaffolding to contingent scaffolding in literacy instruction with emergent bilingual students. TESOL Journal, 7(2), 393-420.
 
This week, you might want to take a look at:

Overcoming the “drama triangle” when working with teams:
 
https://www.smartbrief.com/original/recognizing-and-overcoming-the-drama-triangle
 
 
Charts as tools and teachers:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/charts-as-tools-charts-as-teachers/
 
 
Independent mentor text studies:
 
https://vimeo.com/1085805154/4e5ddc29d3
 
 
The role of identity in learning:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/video/when-social-brain-misfires
 
 
Using Interactive reading guides in science:
 
https://www.amnh.org/explore/curriculum-collections/integrating-literacy-strategies-into-science-instruction/interactive-reading-guides
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentxiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FDNF25 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

Coaching to Extend the Gratitude

In the U.S. this week, we celebrated Thanksgiving – a time to remember the things that fill us with appreciation. Thanksgiving offers a natural pause – a time to take stock of the positives. Let’s carry that positive lens with us when we head back to school on Monday by looking for things to applaud: small wins, acts of generosity, and evidence of learning that we can celebrate. Instead of letting these things slip by unnoticed, let’s carry forward gratitude as an ongoing practice, not just a holiday.
 
Gratitude Matters in Coaching
 
Expressing gratitude is more than just a feel-good extra. Coaching is relational work, and expressing gratitude can be a trust-builder. Genuine and specific gratitude helps teachers feel seen, and they are likely to respond with openness. Appreciation has a place in our professional routines.
 
Collaborative Praise
 
Praise isn’t indulgent – it’s a performance strategy. Teachers benefit from praise offered by coaches, and coaches can also create opportunities for teachers to provide praise to one another. Carrying the holiday forward, you might start the next team meeting by suggesting a gratitude circle – going around the table with each person sharing something work-related that they’re thankful for. Collaborative praise gives teams the relational fuel needed to problem-solve together.
 
Another way to cultivate praise is to rotate a “spotlight” each week, with a teacher sharing a small victory and colleagues respond with what they learned from it. You could also create a digital “shout out” board in Padlet (or another easy-to-add-to app) so that teachers can celebrate each other.
 
Overt plans for sharing praise can be complemented by quieter expressions, as you model your generous appreciation during coaching conversations, notice and name what teachers do for one another, and send a quick note to acknowledge admiration. Activities like these support a culture that recognizes service.
 
Enduring Gratitude Structures
 
Instead of being just a holiday novelty, tangible reminders to give thanks – like Gratitude jars, Gratitude breaks in agendas, and a Wall of Thanks in the staff room – promote connection and contribute to a sustainable school culture. And connection supports collective efficacy, which research suggests is closely tied to student achievement.
 
When adults in the school feel and express gratitude, teachers collaborate more effectively and students feel the difference, too. Positive teacher relationships can create contagious calm that benefits everyone. Appreciation is an investment in both teachers and students.
 
There is no bad time to express gratitude. Besides increasing optimism, improving health, and boosting productivity, gratitude opens the door to new relationships and bolsters existing ones. As we return from Thanksgiving tables to teaching tables, let’s carry forward feelings of gratitude and invite others to join us.
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

Establishing an (early childhood) classroom culture of writing:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/exploring-writing-preschool
 
 
Setting the stage for hard classroom conversations:
 
https://mismatch.org/2025/06/03/navigating-difficult-conversations-576/
 
 
First grade family history inquiry project (with meaningful technology integration):
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/family-history-inquiry-project-integrating-technology-with-social-studies-in-first-grade/
 
 
A digital compare/contrast map:
 
https://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/student-interactives/compare-contrast
 
 
 
The role of identity in learning:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/video/when-social-brain-misfires
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentxiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FDNF25 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

What’s In A Name - when Coaching

Coaching works best with a gentle nudge. The difference between nudging and pushing often comes down to language. Especially if we’re offering a recommendation, the way we use words can completely change how coaching is received, And one of the most valued words a teacher has is their name.
 
Why Names Matter
A person’s name is one of the strongest identifiers they carry. It’s tied to our sense of self, our identity, even our self-worth. Our names are gifts—sometimes inherited, sometimes reinvented, but always deeply personal. They represent who we are and who we hope to be recognized as.
 
Because of that, there’s a lot of power in using someone’s name. And how we use it matters. Many of us can remember that moment from childhood when hearing our full name—first, middle, and last—meant trouble (Alissa Marie Stewart, get over here!). But in conversation, a name can also send a softer, more affirming message. Including someone’s name can say, “You matter to me.” In coaching, it adds an even deeper layer: “I care about you and your work.”
 
How Name Placement Shapes Emotion
Over time, I’ve noticed that where we place a person’s name in a sentence—either spoken or written—can subtly change the emotional tone.
 
Placing the name at the beginning of a sentence sounds like a call for attention. It can feel directive or demanding:
“Vicki, I’m wondering if you’ve thought about…”
 
But embedding the name in the middle, or ending with the person’s name, softens the message:
“I’m wondering, Vicki, if you’ve thought about…”
 
It feels different, doesn’t it? More personal. More connected. The shift is subtle but meaningful — moving from “I’m getting your attention” to “I’m recognizing you.”
 
It’s All in the Details
If you’re thinking this feels a bit picky, you’re right. It is. But coaches work with language every day, and our words are our primary tools. Because of that, the nuances matter. A name is personal. Let’s use it thoughtfully, with care for the person hearing it.
 
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

This podcast episode debunks 6 myths about English Learners:
 
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep241-6-myths-about-english-language-learners-i-wish/id954139712?i=1000540288582
 
AI for teachers but not students?
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/why-students-should-not-use-ai
 
 
How a Sarah Bareilles song inspires writers to be brave:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/supporting-brave-writers/
 
 
Discipline-specific literacy strategies:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/how-to-work-literacy-instruction-into-all-content-areas
 
 
Teaching students to self-monitor their behavior:
 
http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/teaching-children-to-check-their-own-behavior/
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentxiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FDNF25 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

No More Coaching Cycles

Discussions of coaching typically talk about the work we do as “coaching cycles.” It’s time to stop this language and instead describe coaching work in a way that is more responsive and relational. Let’s talk about coaching rhythms.
 
The dictionary defines rhythm as movement marked by regular recurrence or natural flow. According to researchers Klarner and Raisch,* who study organizational change, a rhythm is how moves are timed. These descriptions fit my GIR model for coaching (below). The 5 coaching moves (modeling, recommending, questioning, affirming, and praising) are used in a natural flow in response to teachers’ needs.
 
Appropriate coaching support will guide, challenge, or validate. The squiggly line in the GIR model shows that coaching isn’t a linear process – it’s a fluid one. There’s no circular movement indicated, although we might certainly revisit more supportive coaching moves as needed, especially as we work with the same teacher on different skills.
 
Although in general your coaching will move from more supportive to less supportive during a coaching cycle, the path is not a linear one. I’ve described it as shifting, sinuous, flexible, and responsive.
 
Instructional improvement is contextual, so coaching is a cha-cha. We will step forward and back, and there will be lifts and dips along the way. We know that the upward sloping line in the GIR model indicates growth, but the cha-cha of coaching includes small steps back, too. When it seems needed, don’t hesitate to lean on a move that offers more support, like modeling or recommending. If one move doesn’t bear fruit, we can lean back and try an approach that provides more scaffolding. The 5 coaching moves create the rhythm of our coaching work.
 
Coaching is responsive; if we stick too long with a move that’s not needed, we are over-scaffolding; this reduces teachers’ agency and motivation. We know how to move by paying careful attention to the teacher and the context. We are ready to reposition, to find a match between the support needed by the teacher and the support offered by each of the 5 coaching moves. This is the rhythm of responsive coaching.
 
Finding the right pace supports authentic teacher learning. Just as students learn at different speeds, teachers, too, have unique paces of growth. To keep the metaphorical coaching dance engaging and challenging, our coaching moves match teachers’ motion.
 
My friend Karen, an experienced and amazing coach, told me that early in her coaching career, she would carefully plan a framework for an upcoming coaching conversation and then stick to the plan. “Those conversations left me feeling that they didn’t quite land,” she said. Karen knew something was off. Then one day, a teacher said to her, “It feels like you’re continuing a conversation from the past, but I’m not in that same place anymore.” Karen realized that a plan is helpful, but flexibility is essential. “Truly listening,” Karen said, allows coaches to align with where teachers are “both in their professional learning and in the moment during the conversation.” “It’s essential to stay flexible and responsive,” she said. “Effective coaching requires us to meet teachers in their current space.” We’ve got to adjust the rhythm.
 
Responsive coaches are those who pay attention. They reinvent and adapt to the experiences of those they serve. They build on the resources that teachers bring to the table and attend to current needs. To find out what those needs are, you might ask, “What are you wondering about right now?” or “What is missing for you right now?” Teachers’ wonderings and questions will provide insight about how you can support them. Their questions will tell you what they are troubled by and what they want help with. That is the beginning. We can’t know what to do until we know where they are. Then we know how to move. We know the next beat in the rhythm.
 
As you gather information from teachers, you can make professional decisions about how to best support them. You will be armed with greater understanding about teachers’ current needs. You will be more responsive. Teaching and coaching must always be dynamically adapted and reinvented to match learners and contexts.
 
Coaches are responsive when they are attuned to teachers’ abilities, interests, and needs. They are aware of emotional concerns and aware of teachers’ successes and celebrations. Coaching well can’t be done apathetically.
 
Instead of a cycle that elicits a supervisory schedule of observation and evaluative feedback, coaches who are responsive offer collaboration and consultation – we reason together. Within a coaching rhythm, observation and feedback are options but not expectations, and data collection often focuses on students, not teachers.
 
Another feature influencing coaching rhythms is the relationship that has been built between teacher and coach. Teachers and coaches are all very different individuals, so the relationship between the two will vary. Each coaching relationship is unique.
 
Coaching is relational work, and a relationship of trust is required. Trust involves confidence that someone will act in your best interest, an assurance that they are on your side.
 
Coaching rhythms are relational and responsive. The pattern of the 5 moves in the GIR model is determined by teachers’ needs, flowing in real-time response to the teacher. We adjust the tempo and intensity of support. Change should be carefully timed in keeping with an individual’s resources and the time required to learn. Coaching rhythms set the direction and magnitude of change.
 
The GIR Model helps coaches carefully consider a dynamic process for supporting growth. Differentiated coaching means recognizing teachers’ strengths and needs and then varying the supports provided as those you work with gain experience and expertise, one step at a time. The GIR model can guide our moves as we create a coaching rhythm.
 

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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at
MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

Give teachers more of what they need – TIME:
 
https://www.smartbrief.com/original/the-gift-of-time-is-an-educators-best-tool
 
 
This video of a writing conference, nudging a student toward multimodal informational text:
 
https://vimeo.com/1085826263/7a570821fe?ts=0&share=copy
 
 
Strategies for strengthening teacher-coach relationships:
 
https://www.ascd.org/el/articles/how-good-coaches-build-alliance-with-teachers
 
 
A stance of confident humility:
 
https://barkleypd.com/blog/confident-humility-and-coaching/
 
 
A reminder for coaches to be active listeners:
 
https://simplycoachingandteaching.com/blog/2021/10/05/better-listener/
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentxiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FDNF25 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!

Coaching with a Gentle Nudge

Change is hard, so sometimes we need a nudge to make it happen.  We may lack confidence, courage, or motivation to try new things of which we are capable, but a nudge can get us moving in the right direction. When coaching, recommendations work best when they feel like a gentle nudge rather than an edict.
 
Aking permission is one way to make a recommendation feel more nudge-like. We might say, “Do you mind if I share some ideas with you?” or ““Can I share my experience?” Even though the teacher is very unlikely to say “no,” somehow, the asking makes a difference. It seems to open the way.
 
A recommendation is more nudge-like, too, if it’s a small step rather than a giant one. When I met with a teacher who truly wanted to improve the whole-group discussions in her classroom, I realized that small steps were needed. Tasha was committed, but she had a lot of work to do to improve classroom discussions. I felt that if I shared all the things I’d been thinking about in terms of improving class discussions, Tasha would become overwhelmed. What she needed were small steps to move her in the right direction. So I suggested a very concrete idea: Rather than suggesting something to do, my first recommendation was something to avoid. Working on not doing something seemed much easier than working on doing something.
 
So, I said, “Do you think you could totally do away with the sentence stem, ‘Who can raise their hand and tell me?” To hand-raise or not to hand-raise wasn’t the issue here. But Tasha’s habitual question-starter seemed to turn off students’ brains – they seemed to be thinking, “This question doesn’t have to be for me if I don’t raise my hand.” So, rather than suggesting that Tasha work on getting all students engaged in the thinking, it felt more manageable to work on eliminating these eight words. It was a small step, and I could tell by the way Tasha’s face lit up that she felt confident she could do it. There were many small steps on Tasha’s journey to improved classroom discussion, but this gentle nudge got her moving in the right direction.
 
A nudge is an invitation, a tender prompt forward. Pushing, on the other hand, usually doesn’t work. To push is to “press against with force.”  That doesn’t sound very nice, does it? When someone pushes against me with force, I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to push back. It seems like the natural way to keep my equilibrium. If I don’t offer some resistance, I might topple over from the force. 
But a nudge allows me to keep my footing. I’m not going to fall, I’m just going to move forward. To nudge is to touch gently or urge into action. A nudge is a recommendation loaded with assurance. Pete Carroll said, “Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.”*  He was talking about football, but instructional coaches can unlock power, too.
 
A nudge is likely to be received gracefully and with appreciation. A pushy recommendation is likely to be met with pushback rather than change. Take a moment and reflect on who might need a nudge to take that next positive step – something you know they are capable of doing, but they may not. Being a pusher can be tiresome and unproductive, but being a nudger is something to aspire to!
 
Asking permission and naming small steps are two ways to make recommendations nudge-like. The difference between nudging and pushing is a matter of language. Our ways with words make a big difference in how a recommendation is received.
 
*247sports, n.d.
 
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Did you know My Coaches Couch is also a podcast? (with different content) Find it in your favorite podcast app or at MyCoachesCouch.podbean.com
 
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

Video analysis as a coaching tool:
 
https://www.teachingchannel.com/free-videos/
 
 
Why writing instruction matters more than ever in an AI-driven world:
 
https://districtadministration.com/opinion/why-writing-still-matters-teaching-human-skills-in-an-ai-powered-world/
 
 
Perfectionism or perseverance? It shows up even in kindergarten:
 
https://ccira.blog/2025/09/22/ice-cream-penguins-and-other-thoughts-on-the-growth-mindset/
 
 
Using tech to help students learn from one another:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/the-good-part-of-tech/
Nonverbal communication in the classroom:
 
https://www.teachingchannel.com/blog/nonverbal-communication-in-your-classroom
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
Want more coaching tips? Check out my book, Differentxiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner, available from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can use the code: FDNF25 for 15% off. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!