I
take my work seriously. Students and
learning matter, and this gives me clear focus.
But sometimes my fervor and focus get in the way of my coaching. My intensity can make me feel less accessible
and receptive. A few years back, I was coached
by a colleague about an upcoming meeting.
“You and Susie are both so intense,” he said. “You can be intimidating.”
At
first I laughed, because Suzie and I are both petite – if we stood on the
scales together, we’d barely tip the needle over 200 lbs. How could two tiny women be
intimidating? But, on further
reflection, I knew he was right. We can both
have that fierce gaze that means, “I am not giving up until we get this
right!” And that attribute,
unfortunately, could push people away. I
decided this was something I needed to work on.
I needed to be more approachable.
I
started thinking about things I hadn’t thought about before: How I sat in a
chair while listening, for example. Even
though a leaning-in posture can say, “I’m paying attention,” it might also feel
in-your-face. So I practiced leaning
back and looking relaxed from time to time.
I reminded myself to uncross my arms.
I laid an open hand loosely on the table. These subtle gestures can make me feel more
approachable during one-on-one and group conversations.
When
I enter a classroom for an observation, I have to remind myself to keep a smile
on my face. Even though on the inside I
am always SO happy to be there, I sometime get so focused on taking everything
in that I notice my brow is furrowed.
That sends a signal that I don’t intend!
Teachers (and sometimes students) read that expression as, “Something is
wrong here.” Even when it isn’t. So I do facial readjustments throughout an
observation.
I
also try to remember to slide into the classroom rather than striding in. I don’t want my walk to say that I’m all
business. I don’t want to create a
diversion, I want to blend in. This
might seem extreme, but I even think about what shoes I’ll wear, because I
don’t want my heels click-clicking as I enter the room or as I wander over to a
group of students to listen in on their collaboration. I don’t want my posture to be too
stick-straight, because my bearing could be intimidating.
Until
I’ve really established rapport with a teacher, I don’t bring my
laptop into her room. That big, official
screen seems to create a barrier and differences in our status. It does not feel welcoming. It does not feel pleasant. Even though I’m much better at capturing all
the little details using my keyboard, it’s not worth the hurdle it
creates. At first, I get what data I can
with my notebook or iPad.
This
week, I met three preservice teachers who I’ll be spending a lot of time with
next month (we are going to Ireland together!).
Before they joined me in my office, I reminded myself to smile a
lot. I put away my big laptop and got
out the caramels. I asked what they are
excited about and what advice they had about preparing for the trip, because I
hadn’t really had time to think about it yet.
There won’t be much time for rapport-building once we get to Ireland,
because we’ll jump right in to working in the school, so I knew I needed a
strong start during our 30-minute get-together.
I hope that reminding myself to be approachable got our relationship
started on the right foot. As with all
coaching work, positive relationships will be vital. If you are like me and your intensity sometimes
gets in the way of your approachability, paying attention to posture,
positioning, and facial expressions can help teachers feel at ease.
This
week, you might want to take a look at:
Using the questions for Learning
categories in coaching:
Social-Emotional
benefits of 3 common literacy practices:
EdCamp-style PD at your school:
Getting power from having students
write to politicians:
A 3-minute listen about why sitting
affects teens’ mental health:
https://www.npr.org/2020/02/17/806599794/why-sitting-for-long-periods-can-effect-teens-mental-health
That’s
it for this week. Happy Coaching!
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