Saturday, November 30, 2019

Would you be willing?


Unless you’re new to this blog, you know I am a word nerd.  The truth is, I’ve found that word choice matters in coaching.  A lot.  The right turn of phrase can open the door for collaboration, for coaching, for change.  ‘‘We are pushed and pulled around by language far more than we realize,” says Elizabeth Stokoe, a professor of social interaction who has analyzed thousands of recorded conversations.

Stokoe’s findings are relevant for coaching situations.  For example, her research found that doctors who listed “options” rather than “best-interest” solutions got a more positive response.  I wonder if the same is true for coaches?  When making a recommendation, are teachers more receptive when I list options rather than describe best practices?  Although I haven’t studied this (yet), my guess is that the idea of options feels more open to teachers and is most likely to result in interest and application. 

One of Stokoe’s findings that surprised me was the power of the phrase, “Would you be willing…”  When extending an invitation to participate, this phrase was more effective than, “Would you like to…”  or “Would you be interested in…” and got agreement even from people who had already responded negatively to an invitation.  The word willing seemed to trigger rapid and enthusiastic agreement.  As coaches, we might ask, “Would you be willing to participate in one coaching cycle?”  “Would you be willing to try this strategy?”  “Would you be willing to host a peer observation?” Since coaches sometimes meet with resistance, this is a good word tool to know about.  Using the word willing seems to make people more willing.  Let’s try this!

Combining these research findings might be even more effective.  “Some of the ways I’ve seen teachers meet this challenge are…….Would you be willing to try one of these ideas?”  A recommendation that includes options and invites willingness could increase buy-in.  The teacher is in the position to make informed decisions about how to best meet the needs of the students she serves.  Offering choice increases ownership and honors a teacher’s professional knowledge and her knowledge of her own students.  A coach’s language about instructional decisions can enhance the willingness for change.  Choosing your words carefully might help a teacher to see a situation (and even to see you) in a new light.

This week, you might want to take a look at:

Keeping up your confidence as a coach:


Anchor charts that document students’ changing thinking support learning:


The benefits of having to cope with a little mess:


What about STEAM:



Give yourself permission to be “good enough:”


That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!

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