Friday, September 7, 2018

Listen First


Shari Frost’s memory of a student encounter of the hilarious kind got me thinking again about how helpful it is to listen before speaking.  Shari tells about a first-grader who, in the middle of a small-group discussion, asked, “Mrs. Frost, how do you make babies?” While Shari’s mind raced about how to respond, another student provided with the needed answer, “Change the y to i and add es.”  Thankfully, Shari hadn’t jumped in too soon with unwanted information!*

In this blog, I’ve often extolled the habit of listening before speaking, and Shari’s story was a good reminder.  During a meeting with coaches last week, a seasoned coach made a similar recommendation to the group.  “Ask the teacher what she thinks she needs to work on,” she said.  Listen before speaking.

So I tried it this week as I met with seven novice teachers.  After observing in their classrooms, I met with these teachers and asked what they felt went well in the lesson.  Then I listened. Later, I asked them what they felt like they were ready to work on in their teaching.  Then I listened.  Each response showed insight and gave direction to our conversation.

I was surprised when Margaret said she wanted to become more confident in the content she was teaching.  Because she came across as self-assured, with a well-developed teacher stance, I never would have thought to make that recommendation.  But glancing at notes I’d made to myself about areas for improvement, I could see how knowing the content better would help Margaret to use students’ responses to support their learning and to ask better follow-up questions  – two things on the “to do” list I had created.

Sarah’s desire to have the kids focus better while on the carpet led us easily to a discussion of some of the things on my list – like providing opportunities for students to talk with one another so that they could be more active participants in the lesson.

Although not every teacher set a goal that provided a perfect inroad to my aspirations for them, listening to what the teacher felt she was ready to do next ensured that there was buy-in for the goals we were working toward.  Steven Covey, author of 7 Habit of Highly Effective People, suggested that we “seek first to understand.”  By listening before speaking, coaching can develop mutual understanding.

*Shari’s full account of the story can be found here.  Sorry I’ve already spoiled it for you!

This week, you might want to take a look at:

Tips for starting the new year as a coach:



During lesson closure, ask students to reflect – fist to five:



Usable quotes on revising writing:


Bringing empathy to coaching:



“Naughty” behaviors that are developmentally appropriate:


That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!

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