Friday, March 30, 2018

The Power of “We” and Other Words of Coaching Wisdom


As coaches, we build partnerships with our words, so we have to attend to the bricks and mortar of our conversations.  The words we choose have power, one by one. 

We Could

One of the most powerful, partnership-creating words is “we.”  As someone who used to value independence, I had to be coached into loving this word.  My husband and a former teaching partner convinced me that the language of “we” sends an important message about the collaborative nature of our work.  Instead of saying, “You should….,” say, “We could….”  You can feel the different dynamic created by those two very similar phrases.  If our focus has been on classroom discussion, for example, instead of saying, “You should have students seated in a circle,” try, “We could think about how the way students are seated affects the conversation.”  You’ll likely get to the same end point, but with more collaborative thinking and buy-in. 

In addition to the joint pronoun, we, the example above demonstrates the power of verb choice.  Could” is full of possibilities.  “Should” restricts choice.  To build partnerships, we’ll want to use the more open verb, could, as we make recommendations.  Even without its partner word, we, it feels more inviting.  “You could see what happens if students aren’t required to raise their hands during circle time,” honors the teachers’ professionalism more than saying, “You should let students talk without raising hands during circle time.”  Switching the modal verb “should” for “could” is a small but important brick for building coaching partnerships.

Avoid Superlatives

Another part of coaching grammar that we should attend to is our use of superlatives….or rather, our disuse of them.  When we use extreme words like “always,” “everyone,” “no one” and “never,” we discount the times or people, be they few or many, when things are going well or when other approaches might be effective.  We also close down creative problem-solving and lose credibility (there will inevitably be exceptions).  Although we often talk of “best practices” in teaching, the reality is that what is “best” varies by context.  We can say, “There’s research suggesting that sentence combining activities are a good way to improve sentence fluency,” without mandating a specific lesson procedure.  The conversation that follows may lead to ongoing improvements that transcend a single lesson.  Avoiding extreme labels in our coaching conversations is an invitation for partnership.

Focus on Students

Another way to shift the power dynamic is to direct attention toward students instead of the teacher.  If you are choosing a focus for a coaching cycle, asking, “What are students struggling with,” will be received differently than, “What are you struggling with?”  This shift puts you on the offensive with the teacher as teammate, rather than putting the teacher in a defensive position. “What are YOU struggling with?” implies that the teacher is at fault.  Asking about students’ struggles puts the emphasis where it should be, on student learning, and can result in a more open and productive conversation.

Words are a tool for instructional growth.  Although the coaching moves described above are subtle, they build trust and encourage teachers to take risks because they know they have the backing of a supportive colleague.  The words we choose impact the strength of the coaching partnerships we are building, conversation by conversation.

This week, you might want to take a look at:

Get ready for National Poetry Month!  Here are helps for unpacking poetry:



A coaching conversation about emphasizing the good in classroom management:



Using student writing as mentor texts:



Performance as summative assessment:



Coaching special educators?  Here’s a report about why they leave (and what we can do about it):



That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!

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