I
had a conversation with a friend this week about her moody early-adolescent son
that provides some insights about coaching.
If you know or parent a young teen, you’ve probably had experiences
similar to my friend’s. Her son was on a
trip to New York City, and as she checked in with him each night she noticed at
pattern.
“How
was walking across the Brooklyn bridge?”
“It
was a cool view, but it was so windy!”
“How
was China Town?”
“The
food was good, but the lines were
long.”
“What
did you think of the museum?”
“The
exhibits were cool, but we stayed too
long.
It
was as if my friend’s son couldn’t allow himself to be happy. His, “but” wiped
the positive out of every situation.
But, the contradictive
contraction, is also an enemy to coaching.
When a teacher is describing something in a lesson that she perceives as
effective, I have sometimes countered with, “Yes, but,” choosing to focus
on the thing I felt needed changing.
Teacher: Students were really engaged during the
video!
Coach:
Yes, but they lost focus right
afterward during the discussion.
Teacher: Look how well Chandra did on this assignment!
Coach:
Yes, but over half of the class didn’t
meet the objective.
Teacher:
This is such a fun project! I do it
every year in April.
Coach:
Yes, but it requires students to
bring a lot of materials from home.
But
– the three-letter word that can instantly take the wind out of a teacher’s
sails! Now that I realize the effects, I
try replacing it with an additive conjunction.
Here’s how the above responses might sound instead:
“Yes,
and
students were really engaged again later during small-group work. What do you think made them so engaged during
those activities?”
“Yes,
and
I noticed many other students made similar growth. Let’s take a closer
look.”
“Yes,
and
I’m thinking it might be a great opportunity for incorporating
technology that all students can access at school.”
If but is
a downer add-on, and might be the antidote.
I’ve noticed but seems to close teachers down; however, teachers seem to
welcome an expansive response to their views.
So the next time you catch yourself ready to say, “Ýes, but….” think of
my friend’s teenager and vow to have a more positive view. Your coaching will be better for it!
This week, you might want to
take a look at:
Coaching for equity:
Thinking about
onomatopoeia during National Poetry Month?
Try this lesson for K-2:
Fusing poetry and
content with apostrophe poems. Here are
some ideas:
Writing a scientific explanation:
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
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