The
beginning of the school year is quickly approaching, and teachers everywhere
are reviewing class lists, making name plates for desks, and labeling folders
and cubbies with students’ given name.
Kindergarten teachers, as they plan those important first weeks of
school, often include activities to help students recognize both their own and
their classmates’ names in print. Why
this focus on names?
The
most identifying word any person has is his name. Names are important to our sense of
self. Names are linked to identities and
identities to self-worth. Our names are
gifted to us by our parents (sometimes reinvented by ourselves or others). Names are who we are and who we wish to be
recognized as.
Because
a name is so personal, there’s a lot of power in using it, and how we use it makes a difference. We’ve all heard someone say that, when they
were a child, if their parent used their full name (first, middle, last), they
knew they were in trouble! When we use a
person’s name in conversation, it can also send a gentler message. Including their name subtly says, “You are an
important individual to me.” Using that personal label in a coaching
conversation can say, “I care about you and your work.”
I’ve noticed that when we use a name while coaching makes a difference in the emotion
that is stirred and the way our comments are received. The simple difference of where we place a
person’s name in a sentence (written or spoken) changes the emotional impact.
Placing
a name at the beginning of a sentence feels like a call for the person’s
attention. It has undertones of demand (“Vicki,
I’m wondering if you’ve thought about……”).
If we embed the name in the sentence, or end the sentence with their
name, there’s a certain softness to it. (I’m
wondering, Vicki, if you’ve thought about….)
It feels different, somehow, like we are connecting with that individual
at a personal level. The placement of
the name can shift the tone: from, “I’m getting your attention,” to “I am noticing
and naming you as a person.”
If
you’re thinking I’m getting pretty picky here – well, I am. Words matter.
A lot. And they are the primary tool
of the coach, so it behooves us to use them well.
Language
plays a huge role in coaching, and how that language is received makes the
difference in coaching’s effectiveness. Hayakawa
, in his book, Language in Thought and
Action, said, “To be concerned with the relation between words and what
they stand for in the hearer’s thoughts and emotions is to approach the study
of language as both an intellectual and a moral discipline.” Effective coaching benefits from a careful
study of language.
A
name is a personal thing. Let’s be
thoughtful about how we use it.
This week,
you might want to take a look at:
The great video: “What Do Teachers Make,”
a wonderful way to start the year with inspiration (even if you’ve seen it
before, it’s worth watching):
Ideas
for beginning-of-the-year readers’ workshops:
A
video about setting the tone in the classroom from day 1:
First 20 days of writing workshop from Hamilton County, Tennessee:
An article about peers helping peers
using technology during the first days of school:
That's it for this week. Happy Coaching!
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