My
oldest son likes to jump….. off of things, into things, out of things! He has jumped off of cliffs and bridges, into
glacier-fed lakes and gullies, and even out of airplanes (despite my pleadings otherwise!). He says jumping gives him a thrill. I’ve noticed that coaches and the teachers
they work with sometimes do a lot of jumping, too – of a type that is best
avoided!
Sometimes
we as coaches jump to judgment when we make recommendations. That is a jump that can be avoided by trying
to see the situation from multiple positions.
How did that situation look to the students? If you walk into a classroom and wonder what’s
going on, you might ask a student: “What is the class doing right now? Why?”
Then listen and learn. And ask
another student, who likely sees things a bit differently. Looking at the situation from the teacher’s
position can also be useful. Why might the
teacher have chosen that activity? What
might he have been trying to accomplish or avoid? Considering what we see and hear from
multiple perspectives helps us avoid a jump to judgment and gain additional
insight before making recommendations.
Making
recommendation (even well-considered ones!) sometimes elicits a jump from the teacher we are
working with – a jump to justification. Before
the recommendation is fully out of our mouths, the teacher we are working with
might begin telling us how it’s usually not that way, or it had to be that way
because, or we really missed something important (which could be true!). But as soon as a teacher takes the jump to
justification, our recommendations fly out the window. They go unheard and unrealized. So how to avoid that perilous jump? I propose a conversation like the following:
Dear
Teacher,
Warning
- I’m about to give you a recommendation!
And it’s really likely that your inclination will be to justify your
actions. Justification seems to be human nature, so of course your mind will go
there sometimes! Your mind might want to
push away the recommendation, because hearing it – really hearing it – can be hard!
Call it an explanation, a reason, a rationale, or an excuse – call it
whatever you want to, but when you do it, you probably stop listening. And that makes my job really hard.
So
let’s make a deal. Before I make any
judgments about your work – before I even think of making a recommendation – I’ll
try to see things from your point of view.
I’ll stop and try to figure out what’s really going on. That’s my part of the bargain. Now here’s what I’ll ask of you: When I make a recommendation, will you stop
and try to see things from my point of view?
Why might I be making that suggestion?
Try to figure out what might have gotten me thinking that way.
What
do you think? If I can avoid jumps to judgment and you can avoid jumps to justification, we might really make some
headway! I hope we can give it a try.
Sincerely,
Your
Coach
Although
I’ve never actually sent a letter like that, I have had conversations that
included those elements. I’ve found that
being proactive – talking about what both of our brains might want to do – can head
off some problems and create more productive conversations. When I take a light-hearted approach to our
mutual human frailties, it seems to bring a little more joy to our work and make
it more effective, too. Judgment and
justification can stop us in our tracks.
Stay safe in coaching by avoiding these fateful jumps!
This week, you might want to
take a look at:
A
blog post about speaking & listening skills: “Speaking of the Common Core……Give Students
Time to Talk:
How-To’s
for or those of you who will soon be holding student-led parent teacher
conferences:
An
article about helping students see their classmates as peer tutors for writing:
Pass
along for parents: How to help kids
write poetry (includes some tips teachers might try, too!):
It’s
not too late to work with teachers on creating a positive classroom culture;
share ideas from this video:
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
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