Caring
is hard. Educators typically approach their work with their hearts wide open. I
ache for the middle-school student sitting alone at the lunch table and for her
teacher who is distraught about the feedback she just got from the principal.
There seems to be an extra layer of caring for instructional coaches and, like a
sweater worn on a day turned too hot, those layers can start to feel just too
much. We want to take a layer off until things cool down. But in education,
oftentimes they don’t. And we wouldn’t really want to not care,
would we?
What
do we do when the caring feels too heavy, though? And what can we encourage
teachers to do when they feel the same? We really have to figure this out.
There’s still plenty of joy to be had in the school day, but there’s plenty
that’s not joyful, too.
Managing
emotions as a caring professional starts by acknowledging them. Be sure to acknowledge
satisfaction, excitement, and pride. But It’s okay (and important) to acknowledge
anxiety, anger, guilt, sadness, and loneliness, too. Name it, feel it, help it
move on through.
It’s
not about a new pair of shoes, a chocolate bar, or even a bubble bath (although
I’m pretty convinced that the chocolate, at least, will help! 😊).
Beyond indulgences, we need healthy things we can do on the regular and even
things we can do in-the-moment. Here are a few practices to try:
*Deep
breathing: This is my go-to. Several BIG breathes in, followed by s-l-o-w
exhales always make a difference. Brain science supports this practice, too.
More oxygen is a good thing.
*Progressive
relaxation: Sit down, and start by relaxing your toes. Then work your way up to
the top of your head and out to the tips of your fingers, muscle group by
muscle group. In a class full of children, you can do this with your eyes open.
*Do
the art project with students. Creativity has a calming effect,
and you might all be satisfied with the results.
*Dance.
Do the brain-break with students. Moving your body can move your emotions.
*Give
a self-hug. Hugs help – there’s research to prove it! And, somewhat
surprisingly, even a self-hug works. Educators can sneak in a self-hug any
time.
*Make
time for exercise and sleep (preaching to the choir here). We know our
minds and bodies work best, and we can be more appropriately responsive to hard
situation, when basic bodily needs are taken care of (eating and peeing count
here, too – and we know educators often don’t get enough time for either during
their days).
*Communicate
needs and feelings with a trusted listening partner.
Which
of these practices help you when caring feels too heavy? Which could you share
with the educators you care about?
Lately,
I’ve had the words of William Wordsworth’s poem, “The World is Too Much with Us,”
running through my head. But we don’t want to stop being people who care. Caring
means being responsive to a need. We can find ways to turn our compassion
fatigue into compassion resilience, to maintain our own well-being while responding
humanely to others.
Remind
yourself of what fills your emotional well. As an instructional coach, you
might also be in a position to help others find what fills theirs. You aren’t a
therapist, but you are a caring human. Focus on what you can do. The emotions
that come from caring can become fuel for action.
This
week, you might want to take a look at:
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