Respect

Coaching is relational work. Coaches quickly realize that, try as they might, they are not in a position to directly affect instructional practice. As Marilyn Ferguson (1980) adroitly observed, “A belated discovery, one that causes considerable anguish, is that no one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be unlocked from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or emotional appeal”* (p. 97). A relationship of trust is required to open the gate.
 
Trust involves confidence that someone will act in your best interest, an assurance that they are on your side. Where there is mutual trust, colleagues develop an understanding of each other’s views, strengths, and needs.
 
Our colleagues can be sure of us when we are consistently generous in our assumptions about their efforts. Relationships are stronger and there is less room for misinterpretation when we have positive assumptions about one another’s intent. We are more able to restrain judgment. When we assume positive intent, we believe that teachers’ purposes, decisions, and actions come from a desire to do good. Assuming positive intent results in better teamwork and better opportunities. It creates calm interactions and a happy mind. Positive assumptions build trust and support respectful relationships between teacher and coach.
 
We can usually understand another’s actions better when we take the time to find out what that person values and has experienced and when we respect their individual attributes. I noticed this as I worked with Erica.
 
Erica is serene and thoughtful. Her lesson plans are detailed and well-envisioned. I’ve watched her in the classroom, moving from student to student with quiet comments that elevate students’ thinking. She will never be the sage on the stage, the entertainer-type of teacher. I wouldn’t want her to be. 
 
When coaching Erica, I started by acknowledging the powerful conversations she was having with students: her thoughtful attention to individuals, her calm and assuring presence and encouragement, and her recognition of students’ strengths. I labeled these individual interactions for her as “conferences,” a term that was new to her. Initially, we talked about structuring those conferences for increased impact. I built from where she was and the unique assets she brought as a teacher before making suggestions that were a bit more outside of her comfort zone. We were well into our coaching work before we talked about bringing more exuberance to her read alouds. A buoyant read-aloud, with lilt in her voice, dynamic volume, and pregnant pauses did not come naturally for Erica. But she recognized the need and was willing to work on it because of the mutual respect we had developed. Unprompted, she even began adding different voices for each character, and admitted to practicing privately in front of her mirror at home.
 
Respecting people as they are makes us more effective in helping them become more than they are. Instruction is most likely to improve when we respect the teachers we are working with and have earned their respect. Rather than rushing to recommend, work first on laying a foundation of mutual understanding and respect. No respect = no change.
 
* Ferguson, M.  (1980). The Aquarian conspiracy: Personal and social transformation in the 1980s. Tarcher.
 
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Hooray!!! My new book, Differentiated Mentoring & Coaching in Education: From Preservice Teacher to Expert Practitioner is a fall release from Teachers College Press!  I’m so excited to share it with you! You can order the book now and use the code: SEPTA2022 for 15% off plus FREE SHIPPING. Click  here  and I’ll email you the free Book Group Study Guide that includes questions, prompts, and activities you can use as you share the book with colleagues.  I hope you’ll love this book as much as I loved making it for you!
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This week, you might want to take a look at:

Habits of effective teacher teams:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/3-habits-highly-effective-teacher-teams
 
 
How to plan effective presentations for teachers:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttBYbIIRvUE&list=PL9ZWg6xHw1FgBg-T0JyEuTwys_jYkEOWG&t=2s
 
 
Student checklists for literacy intervention:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/using-student-checklists-in-literacy-intervention/
 
 
Pinterest Board to share with parents (ideas for learning):
 
http://www.pinterest.com/mrsmere/parent-pages/
 
Lots of ideas for “greetings” during morning meetings:
 
https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/three-activities-that-bring-students-lives-and-interests-into-the-classroom/
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
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