Letting Ourselves Be Seen

Trustworthiness is an important foundation for coaching work. Our words, actions, and motives create safety and focus.*  Let’s drill down to consider how to build credibility though truthfulness and vulnerability.
 
I used to think that to be a credible coach I had to always exude confidence and capability.  Having studied literacy since I was a freshman in college (earlier if you count teaching my little brother to read!), I felt I had the know-how to create confidence in my ability. I had advanced degrees and experience and was up-to-date on my professional reading. All that mattered, but guess what? Recognizing and acknowledging my own weaknesses added a new dimension to my credibility. It also took a big weight off my shoulders.
 
I’ve found that sharing a story or two about personal failures and opening myself for observation not only models my own growth path, it opens others to pursue theirs.
 
I often share the story of the time I modeled a lesson in my daughter’s classroom during her first year of teaching. In September, as the school year was just getting underway, I got a tearful, frustrated phone call during her recess break. We decided that having me model a lesson might be helpful, so I put on my super-cape and drove 700 miles to visit her classroom. Mom to the rescue! I felt pretty good about the vocabulary lesson I taught, especially considering that it was early in the school year and she had several students with special needs in her classroom.
 
Recess was right after my modeled lesson, and my daughter had recess duty, so we walked together out to the playground. Sara broke the silence with a quizzical look and asked, “Mom, you won awards for your teaching, right?” From the tenor of her voice, I knew the implications behind her question: You won awards, but your teaching’s not perfect; the students weren’t perfect; maybe I don’t have to be perfect!” Modeling gave my daughter new strategies to try, but more importantly, it let her know that perfection is not required or possible! She set more realistic expectations for herself and her students and everybody learned more.
 
Social worker Brené Brown tells us that connection is a result of authenticity. By letting go of who we think we should be, we can more fully be who we are – a necessity for connection. Being vulnerable – having a “Share your stuff – I’ll go first” attitude, opens the door for others to be vulnerable, and that is a necessary step for growth and change. Let’s let ourselves be seen. Whether it’s modeling in a teacher’s classroom or talking about a time when a lesson went horribly wrong, opening ourselves as the imperfect people we necessarily are bolsters connection, trust, and instructional improvement. Plus I’ve found that lifting the weight of perfectionism is incredibly freeing and makes walking through life more joyful.

 
*Maister, D. H., Galford, R., & Green, C. (2021). The trusted advisor. Free Press.
***https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en

This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
A podcast episode about the power of student interest (and more):
 
https://www.classroomcaffeine.com/guests/massey-and-vaughn
 
 
The importance of a good feeling:
 
https://davestuartjr.com/credibility-booster-freds-best-line/
 
 
The next time you need a little boost, dial 707-998-8410 for a pep talk from a kindergartner.
 
 
Keeping the classroom library current:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/keeping-the-classroom-library-current/
 
3 Ways to more “aha” moments in coaching:
 
https://www.growthcoaching.com.au/resource/3-ways-to-more-aha-moments-in-coaching/
 
That’s it for this week.  Happy Coaching!
 
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