Talking Too Much?

During a meeting with mentors this week, one of them described the lack of time she’d had to talk with her student-teaching intern. “When we finally found time to talk, I had so many ideas to share. After I finished making recommendations, she said she was overwhelmed.”
 
Another mentor, Tasha, said, “I’m a nervous talker. My intern is really quiet. If she isn’t saying anything when we meet, I just start talking.” Other mentors chimed in with a tone of confession, saying how easy it can be to talk too much during a coaching conversation.
 
If you find yourself bombarding a conversation with information, teachers you are working with may know far more about you than you do about them – and  that’s not a healthy coaching relationship. How do you know when you are talking too much? Here are a few things to watch for:

·       If you feel responsible for filling silences in a conversation, you may be talking too much. Maybe, like Tasha, you are uncomfortable with silences. But silences are a normal part of a coaching conversation. Instead of seeing silence as the sign of a failed conversation, recognize that quiet pauses can be thought-filled and productive.  Don’t fill silences by talking about anything that comes to mind. When there’s a pause, practice holding back for a few seconds. Give the teacher a chance to be the one who restarts the conversation.

·       Do your friends joke that you talk a lot? That may be their non-confrontational way of alerting you to your chattiness. If you pick up on such jokes, it’s probably time for tongue restraint! Check yourself to see whether natural chattiness spills over into coaching conversations.

·       If the teacher you are talking to stops making eye contact, or you see a glazed-over look or a gaze into the distance, it’s time to stop talking. It’s she’s playing with an object or looking at her phone, she has probably switched off while you were speaking. You can always apologize, saying, “Sorry, I got carried away. What do you think about that?”

·       If you catch yourself interrupting, that’s a sign you may be talking too much. Repair the situation by quickly redirecting the conversation back to the teacher. Say something like, “Apologies for interrupting; please go on.”

·       If you’re in a conversation and the other person’s responses are mostly, “Yeah,” “Mmmm,” and “Uh-huh,” you are talking too much. The one who does the talking does the learning, so brief responses from the teacher are a sign that the coaching conversation is unproductive.

·       Do you have regrets after a conversation, wondering, “Why did I say that?” Maybe you get carried away during a conversation and overshare, then later feel uneasy about what you’ve said, If this happens, you may be talking too much.

An antidote to over-talking is asking open-ended questions – ones that don’t have a yes/no answer. Then ask follow-up questions to show that you care about the responses. Questions encourage others to talk, shifting the balance of the conversation so that teacher talk takes precedence. Asking questions prevents you from dominating a dialogue. It can be helpful to prepare questions in advance,
 
Asking questions is one way to give the teacher more space to talk. Increasing teacher talk may solve a coach’s overtalking problem. After asking a question, focus on your listening skills. Instead of thinking about how you are going to respond, give your full energy to what is being said.
 
If you catch yourself going off on tangents or repeating yourself during a coaching conversation, rein in your tongue by asking a question and then listening deeply to the teacher’s response. Stop yourself from talking too much. A productive coaching conversation is one where the teacher does more of the talking. 

This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
Coaching conversation hearts:
 
https://www.thecoachingsketchnotebook.com/2021/02/coaching-conversation-hearts.html
 
 
Five strategies for avoiding burnout:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/blog/positive-strategies-avoid-stress-burnout-donna-wilson-marcus-conyers
 
 
Embedding affirmation in daily practice:
 
https://blog.teachboost.com/the-power-of-affirmation
 
 
Creating and using stories in the classroom (describes a kindergarten setting, but please consider the value of stories for learners of all ages!):
 
https://ccira.blog/2022/01/25/storytelling-and-beyond/
 
This SEL-focused episode of the 10 Minute Teacher Podcast shares insights for helping children learn now:
 
https://www.coolcatteacher.com/sel-spotlight-dr-marc-brackett-how-kids-learn-right-now/
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
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Questioning to Pivot

In the last coaching blog post, I provided an acronym to guide the process of pivoting: Probe, Investigate, Veer, Observe, and Tarry. In today’s post, I’ll apply that acronym to our coaching cycles. 
 
Coaching is an uncertain enterprise. You have to be fast on your feet, because you can’t always anticipate what teachers might need. Your coaching will be most effective when you are flexible and responsive, able to adjust in the midst of a conversation.
 
To be flexible but still feel solidly planted, it helps to identify a pivot point. A pivot point is “the central point, pin, or shaft on which a mechanism turns or oscillates.” The needle on a compass is gently moored in the center, allowing the needle to swing freely. I have begun thinking that coaching conversations, too, have a pivot point, and that asking questions might be that central mechanism on which we turn.
 
When I was talking recently with Angela, an experienced coach, we discussed how the GIR model (see below) guided and portrayed her work. “Honestly,” she said, “I really lean on questioning. I think it’s the move I used the most.”
 
We then talked about how, after asking a question, we might pivot to a more supportive move, like recommending or questioning, if it seems warranted. However, if the teacher’s response to our question solidly demonstrates a teacher’s strength, affirmations or praise may be our next step. Asking a question can be a pivot point or a temperature check for where a teacher is with a particular practice.
 
Let’s see how that played out in a conversation I had last week with a novice teacher, Adriana. I had observed her fourth-grade lesson linking grammar to reading comprehension – how recognizing the structure of a sentence can enhance understanding. As I observed, I wondered why she consistently used the terms “subject” and “predicate” without reference to nouns and verbs. I hypothesized several valid reasons for doing so, but I was curious about what Adriana was thinking, so I asked.
 
Adrianna’s response was that she wanted to use language that students were familiar with, and she didn’t think they knew “noun” and “verb.” Her response seemed to reflect lack of knowledge of standards from previous grades and didn’t reveal the more nuanced hypotheses I’d formed to justify her lack of these terms. After mentioning grammar standards that would have been previously addressed, I shared information from a podcast I’d listened to, where a well-known author shared his writing goal of keeping the noun and verb close together in every sentence. He said that even in complex sentences, this noun-verb structure made the ideas easier to understand. I wondered how this might apply for Adrianna’s students. Would having them identify the noun and the verb increase reading comprehension? Since she would be continuing with her lessons connecting grammar and reading comprehension, I recommended trying this practice.
 
In this conversation, my initial question provided a pivot point, helping me recognize the need for recommending, which was the high-yield coaching move for Adrianna during our conversation. My question let me feel around a bit for what was needed. In the PIVOT acronym, it was my probe to test the water. As I listened to her response, I was investigating to figure out what Adrianna knew and what she needed. My recommendation veered from the coaching move of asking questions. I changed because I felt Adrianna would benefit from more support. I then observed how Adrianna responded to the recommendation. She seemed open, so I felt comfortable talking with her more about the idea. In the language of the acronym, we tarried there to flesh out what might happen next.
 
Because responsiveness is important for effective coaching, you’ll need to be able to pivot based on teachers’ needs. Asking questions can be the pivot point for adjusting support in a coaching conversation.

This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
This video about setting the stage for classroom discussions:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/video/how-set-stage-challenging-classroom-discussions
 
 
Ideas for indoor recess:
 
https://www.learnersedge.com/blog/fresh-ideas-for-indoor-recess
 
 
Conversations after finishing a read aloud:
 
https://choiceliteracy.com/article/whole-class-conversations-for-read-aloud-closure/
 
 
Ways to say “Thank You” to teachers:
 
https://www.mshouser.com/instructional-coaching/a-few-ways-to-say-thank-you-to-teachers
 
 
Key ways to build trusting relationships:
 
https://www.edutopia.org/article/6-simple-ways-build-trusting-relationships-staff
 
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
 
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Ready to Pivot

Pivot. Once again, we’re being told to be ready to pivot.  Some of us already have. Actually, haven’t we been continually pivoting for the past two years? Or, more accurately, as educators, haven’t we been pivoting throughout our careers?
 
According to Webster, to pivot is to make a marked change. Or, taking another of the definitions, it can mean to adapt, adjust, or improve.
 
So teaching is, and has always been, about pivoting. We take advantage of that teachable moment, building on students’ interests or a spontaneous event. We notice, mid-lesson, that students aren’t getting it, and we try a different approach. We drop our plans completely when there’s a fire drill, and we pick up the pieces when we come back. Yes, teachers are good at pivoting. They do it every day.
 
Teachers are also asked to pivot every year, it seems, to try the new “best practice” or the current district focus, to use a new curriculum, a new set of standards, or a new teaching method. Yes, teachers are good at pivoting.
 
And then there’s the kind of pivot we’re hoping for in coaching – usually more subtle and hopefully more sustained, we are nevertheless asking teachers to pivot when we focus on improving instruction. We are supporting investigation of practice, supporting change, supporting becoming better each day.
 
So I’ve been thinking about what it means to pivot. What’s the process? Since it is something we do routinely AND something we might be asked to do suddenly, is there a process that can guide us? In my search to unpack the process, I created an acronym (because don’t we need one more acronym in education?  😊).  Actually, since acronyms are good mnemonic devices, it’s probably worth having one to help us think through a pivot. So here goes:
 
Probe: First, test the water. Gauge the situation.
 
Investigate: Notice and evaluate. Take time to inspect and inquire. The data you gather will guide the next step.
 
Veer: The “v” is the center of the word “pivot,” and veering is the central action in the process of pivoting. This is the actual change. This is when we vary or venture.
 
Observe: Be open to what’s happening after the change. Listen. Attend. Pause. Be present. Evaluate again.
 
Tarry: This is kind of an obscure word, but it starts with “t,” and I like it!  After we change and observe, we settle. We land. We linger for a while. Interestingly, Webster’s definition of tarry also includes: to wait in expectation. I guess even while lingering, as educators we’re always expecting the next change.
 
Whether teachers pivot big (F2F-Virtual; new writing curriculum), tweak teaching practice (more discussion, more student agency), or respond in the moment (repeat directions, add a manipulative), it helps to probe and investigate before veering, then observe after the change so they know how to tarry.
 
As coaches, we are also on our toes, prepared to pivot with the big things and the small ones. Like teachers, the venue for our work may change. We will tweak our coaching practice, and we will be responsive in the moment. As coaches, we pivot.  We do it every day.

This week, you might want to take a look at:
 
This podcast about responsiveness:
 
https://www.classroomcaffeine.com/guests/kevin-leander
 

Affirmation stations for staff:
 
https://blog.teachboost.com/build-a-culture-of-appreciation-with-affirmation-stations
 
 
The sound environment and brain development:
 
https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58835/how-the-difference-between-sound-and-noise-can-influence-our-ability-to-learn
 
 
If y’all need a laugh: A 54-second “Friends” blooper about pivoting:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWruEaP4ysI
 
That’s it for this week. Happy coaching!
 
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Follow on Facebook at: facebook.com/mycoachescouch or Twitter @vscollet for more coaching and teaching tips!  You can also find me at VickiCollet.com