Last
fall, one of the teachers I was working with got my attention when she said, “I
know you’re really busy, but….” and then continued with a request for
support. This teacher may have simply
been softening her own appeal, but it really gave me pause. Was I sending the vibe that I was so busy
that I couldn’t help others? Since that
was actually the most important thing in my job description, I wanted to make
sure teachers felt I was available and accessible.
Since
then, I have examined what I unknowingly do to send the signal I’m too
busy. I know I walk really fast through the
building, getting to the next stop on my agenda. My muscles feel tight, and I am thinking
about how to make the most efficient use of my time. I know I get intently
focused when I’m at my computer working on a project. I’ve even caught myself scowling at the
screen because I am so absorbed in my work. I occasionally complain about how much there
is to do or comment about how many projects I have going on. These are the things I’ve caught myself doing
that may unintentionally send the signal, “I’ve got more important things to do
than talk to you.” I realized I was
wearing my busy-ness like a badge. I
think subconsciously we sometimes imply that we must be important because we have
so much on our to-do list.
I
have a friend who is one of the busiest people I know. She homeschools her three kids, bought a
small farm so the kids (and she) would have animals to care for and other
responsibilities. She has a job that,
although flexible, takes a lot of time.
Yet, she never gives the impression that she’s busy. She makes time for a conversation. She sits
back in her chair when she talks. She stops to chat when I pass her. She is the first to assist when there’s
someone in need. People confide in her
and often ask her for help. And she
gives it.
I’ve
thought a lot about this friend and the ambiance she exudes. If I want to be perceived as available
for coaching work, I need to be more like my friend. I need to be ready for an informal chat. I need to stop hurrying and start listening. I need to look and feel more relaxed so that
others will find me open.
Since
my teacher friend got my attention last fall with her tempered request for help,
I have intentionally worked on having a more approachable stance. Instead of a badge of busy-ness, I want to
exude an aura of availability. With a
little more yoga and a little less on my to-do list, I might just pull it off
next year!
This week, you might want to
take a look at:
As
a coach, it helps to be likeable. J Here are 13 habits of likeable people:
Teaching
and measuring social-emotional learning:
Are graphic novels real reading?
Regie Routman describes how to build
the trust students need to learn:
A
10-minute podcast on engaging teenage learners:
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
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