Saturday, September 14, 2013

Asking Permission

This week I was traveling, and due to weather delays I spent a lot of time in airports.  During one of my stints in the gate area, I overheard a conversation between two women who I quickly determined were coaches in the business sector.  I hadn’t been intending to eavesdrop, but once I figured this out, my ears perked up.  I wondered how coaching done in the business world compared with what we do in the educational arena.  These coaches talked about their work with team members, project managers, and upper-level management. 

One of the women was a more seasoned coach, and she was giving advice to her colleague who had recently moved into the coaching role.  The new coach talked about how management was very supportive of coaching, told team members what her role was, and set the expectation that she would be working with them.  (This made me think about our principal/coach agreements – see last week’s post.)  But the new coach expressed frustration that she didn’t feel as welcomed as she would have liked.  She thought that, since the managers said it must be so, she could step right in and do her job. 

The experienced coach suggested a tiny tweak that she said would make a huge difference:  she talked about the importance of asking for permission before stepping in.  This veteran coach explained that she’s noticed a significant mind-shift when she asks, “Can I offer my thoughts?” and her colleague says, “Yes.”  Even though nothing has really changed (the manager still requires the coaching), asking for and receiving permission to coach seems to flip a mental switch, making the listener more receptive.  The seasoned coach said she even does this with her husband (great practice!).  When her husband is telling her about a situation, she pauses and asks, “Do you really want my opinion?” before plowing ahead with advise.  If he says, “Yes,” then she gives it and he listens.  But sometimes he says, “No, not really” – and she leaves it at that.

The experienced colleague pointed out that, after getting permission to coach, it’s important to give team members some value that they can see right away.  “It’s hard to sell them on change,” she said.  “They would rather just sit in their cubes and do the same thing they’ve always done.”  For coaching to work, the coach has to offer something that will be immediate and obviously useful as an introduction.  That paves the way for future work.

As you consider how the advise of this business coach applies in your context, you might coin an “asking permission” question that feels natural to you, and then think about how you will follow up with value-added work.   Can you share an efficient way to analyze assessment data?  Or a tool for quickly setting up a class website (see below)?  Is there a video clip that is sure to be a hit at Back-to-School night?  A procedure for peer editing that will make revision more effective and lighten the teacher’s paper-grading load?  Such early wins will pay big dividends. 

Although I still can’t say I was grateful for the rain delays I experienced this week, I feel lucky to have caught this conversation.  You never know what wisdom you’ll pick up while waiting at an airport gate!


This week, you might want to take a look at:

How to create a class website in 30 minutes or less – really!



Classroom management strategies: 


“Inside Mathematics” is a great website with lessons and professional development for the standards (by grade level).  Here, check out videos of classroom lessons that capture kids’ thinking:


A Pinterest Board  with articles and resources to share with families about the importance of reading and play:

A video with ideas for giving students roles so that reluctant participants become engaged in group work:


Here’s a pinterest board with ideas for classroom seating:
  

That’s it for this week!  Happy Coaching!

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